Belts Jokes

yo mama so fat she has seat belts on the chairs to keep her fat from rolling off!!!!!!!!!

A drunk walks into a bar and notices a banner that says "win $10, 000; ask bartender for details".
He asks and the bartender says "well, you see that man at the end of the bar?". The drunk looks over and sees a huge, burley dude. The bartender says "if you can knock him out with one punch, you go to the second step...
The door right behind that big guy opens into a room containing an alligator with a sore tooth. If you can pull his tooth and come out alive, you move on to step three...
Those stairs next to the door go up to an eighty year old hooker's apartment. She has never been satisfied by any man. If you can satisfy her, you win the money!"
The drunk says ok and orders a double shot of whiskey. He belts that down, walks to the end of the bar and POW!, knocks the big dude out. He orders another double, belts it down, walks to the door, steps inside and closes the door. BAM, CRASH, GROWL is all the bartender and patrons can hear for more...

Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it."Well," she explained, "up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend."In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees. What would you do?"

A drunk walks into a bar and notices a banner that says "win $10,000; ask bartender for details".
He asks and the bartender says "well, you see that man at the end of the bar?". the drunk looks over and sees a huge, burley dude. the bartender says "if you can knock him out with one punch, you go to the second step...
The door right behind that big guy opens into a room containing an aligator with a sore tooth. if you can pull his tooth and come out alive, you move on to step three...
Those stairs next to the door go up to an eighty year old hooker's apartment. she has never been satisfied by any man. if you can satisfy her, you win the money!"
The drunk says ok and orders a double shot of whiskey. he belts that down, walks to the end of the bar and POW!, knocks the big dude out. he orders another double, belts it down, walks to the door, steps inside and closes the door. BAM, CRASH, GROWL is all the bartender and patrons can hear for a few more...

Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.
Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.
"Well," she explained, "up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend.
"In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees. What would you do?"