Berkley Jokes

Big socialist rally at a stadium on Berkley Campus. The crowd is huge. Attendees are hippie throwbacks, Berkley liberals, every pervert imaginable, all of Hollywood, and of course MSNBC. Two Greek columns on the stage. The crowd is waiting in anticipation. Suddenly, the lightning strikes; the entire place fills with smoke; sparks are everywhere. Out of nowhere, above the crowd, appears a giant, ghostly figure. Floating above the stadium, the figure begins to talk, in a booming, rolling voice:
"I have bestowed a new doctrine upon thee!"
"Thou shall worship me and no other!"
"Thou shall covet thy neighbor's wealth, and thou shall enforce the mandatory tithing upon thy neighbor to the higher authority. The higher authority shall distribute thy and thy neighbor's wealth with wisdom!"
"Thou shall not succumb to the false temptation of profit!"
"Thou shall only abort thy first-born no later that the twelfth month after more...