Bicycle Jokes / Recent Jokes

whats the diffrence between a blonde and a bicycle ANSWER a bicycle has a mind of its own

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"

What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him? Because he didnt want to walk in his sleep.

A young man comes up to the border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The border guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags? ”
“Sand, ” answers the young man.
The guard is a bit skeptical and asks the young man to turn over the bags for inspection. The guard empties the bags, but finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the young man overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The young man is released and promptly rides across the border with his sand bags.
A day later, the same young man presents himself at the border. The guard asks, “What have you got? ”
“Sand, ” says the young man.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the young man who then rides across the border on his bicycle with the sand bags.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. more...

Japan Times-April 16, 1997

"The government must crack down on this disgusting craze of "Pumping", a spokesman for the Nakhon Ratchasima hospital told reporters. "If this perversion catches on, it will destroy the cream of Thailand's manhood."

He was speaking after the remains of 13 year-old Charnchai Puanmuangpak had been rushed into the hospital's emergency room. "Most' Pumpers' use a standard bicycle pump," he explained, "inserting the nozzle far up their rectum, giving themselves a rush of air, creating a momentary high. This act is a sin against God."

Charnchai took it further still. He started using a two-cylinder foot pump, but even that wasn't exciting enough for him, and he boasted to friends that he was going to try the compressed air hose at a nearby gasoline station. They dared him to do it so, under cover of darkness, he snuck in.

Not realizing how powerful the machine was, he inserted more...

Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.

Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals. Juliet: Really? Romeo: Yes, bicycle pedals.