Bike Jokes / Recent Jokes
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains justbecame too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going too fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down. Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the biketook off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted t he speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had two Corvettes more...
A Sri Lankan old lady who was living with her grand son in a village decided to send the boy to Ananda college in Colombo as he was the studious sort. Just before the holidays began she got a request from the boy to buy him a bike.
So the boy came home and noticed the new bike. Instead of doing any studies he gets up in the morning and goes out riding nearly whole day every day. When the grand ma expressed her dismay, the boy said sit down on the door step and watch. He rode round the house without holding the handle bars and said Aachchi no hands. Then he went again without peddling and said Aachchi no feet. Then he said aachchi this time no hand and no feet and started off. Now Aachchi waited for a while but no sign of the boy. So she thought that he pulled a fast one and disappeared and went round the house to have a look. Then suddenly the boy appeared from some bushes saying aachchi no teeth.
A fellow tries to cross the Mexican border
on a bicycle with two big bags balanced on his
shoulders. The guard asks, "What's in the bags?"
The fellow says, "Sand!"
The guard wants to examine them. The fellow
gets off the bike, places the bags on the ground,
opens them up, and the guard inspects... only
to find sand. The fellow packs the sand, places
the bags on his shoulders, and pedals the bike
across the border.
Two weeks later, the same situation is repeated...
"What have you there?"
"Sand"
"We want to examine."
Same results... nothing but sand and the fellow
is on his way again.
Every two weeks for six months the inspections
continue. Finally, one week the fellow didn't
show up. However, the guard sees him downtown
and says to the fellow, "Buddy, you had us crazy.
We sort of knew you were smuggling something.
I won't say anything what were you more...
An engineering student was walking across campus when another engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.
''Where did you get such a great bike?''asked the first. The second engineer replied' 'Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said' Take what you want.'''
The second engineer nodded approvingly' 'Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit.''
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah."
The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humouring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."