Biology Jokes / Recent Jokes
A frog went to an astrologer and was told, “you are going to meet a beautiful young woman, who will want to know everything about you. ” The frog said, “that’s great! Will i meet her at a party? ” “no”, said the astrologer, “next term-in her biology class. ”
Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior
college, said during class, "Miss Smythe, would you please name the organ
of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six
times its normal size, and define the conditions." Miss Smythe gasped,
then said freezingly, "Mr. Perkins, I don't think that is a proper
question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this. "With that
she sat down red-faced. Unperturbed, Mr. Perkins called on Miss Johnson
and asked the same question. Miss Johnson, with composure, replied, "The
pupil of the eye, in dim light." "Correct," said Mr. Perkins. "And now,
Miss Smythe, I have three things to say to you." "One, you have not
studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will
some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
A biology major was taking a cell biology course. The task of the day was examining epitheleal cheek cells under a microscope. They had to scrape the inside of their mouths with a toothpick and make a slide from it and record the different types of cells that were found.
One girl in the class was having some trouble identifying some cells. She called the professor over to ask him. After a moment or two of peering in her scope, he looked up and said in a loud voice,' Those are sperm cells.'
Mr.
Cikoch was a biology instructor at a snobby suburban
girl's junior college. During class one day he asked
his student, "Miss Simison, would you please
name the organ of the human body, which under the
appropriate conditions, expands to six times its
normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Simison gasped, and then said, "Mr.
Cikoch, I don't think that is a proper question
to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of
this. "With that she sat down red-faced.
Mr. Cikoch then called on Miss Hakar and asked
the same question. Miss Hakar, with composure,
replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr. Cikoch. "And
now, Miss Simison, I have three things to say to
you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two,
you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some
day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
That it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class, I'd sleep through it.
That I could change so much and barely realize it.
That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.
That college kids throw airplanes too.
That if you wear polyester everyone will ask why you are so dressed up.
That every clock on campus shows a different time.
That if you were smart in high school, so what?
That I would go to a party the night before a final.
That Chem Labs/ Architecture studios take up more time than all my other classes put together.
That you can know everything and fail a test.
That you can know nothing and ace a test.
That I could get used to almost anything I found out about my roommate.
That Home is a great place to visit, But I wouldn't want to live there.
That most of my education would be obtained outside of class.
That friendship is more than getting drunk together.
That I would be one of those people that more...
That it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class, I'd still sleep through it. That I could change so much and barely realize it That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways. No matter how 'cool' you were in high school, no one here cares. That if you wear polyester everyone will ask why you are so dressed up. That every clock on campus shows a different time. That if you were smart in high school, so what? It doesn't matter here. That I would go to a party the night before a final. That Chem. Labs/Art studios take up more time than all my other classes put together. That you can know everything and fail a test. That you can know nothing and ace a test. That I could get used to almost anything found out about my roommate. That most of my education would be obtained outside of class. That friendship is more than getting drunk together. That I would be one of those people that my parents warned me about That Sunday is a figment of the world's imagination. That more...