Bladder Jokes / Recent Jokes
Absent Minded: Opens his vest, pulls out his tie, and pisses in his pants.Clever: Uses no hands, shows off by fixing tie with both hands, looks around for admiration, and sometimes ends up pissing on the floor and onto his shoes.Cross-eyed: Looks into urinal on the left, pisses into the one in the center, and flushes the one on the right.Desperate: Waits in a long time, teeth floating and feet shuffling. Starts to piss as he walks up to urinal but before he can unzip himself. Lets out a long groan and grunt as he finally gets to relieve himself.Disgruntled: Stands for a while, grunts, gives up, and walks away.Drunk: Holds left thumb in right hand and pisses into his pants.Easily induced: Any thought, mention, sight, or slosh of a liquid, from sipping coffee to a runny nose, causes bladder to immediately signal full condition.Efficient: Waits until he has to crap, then does both at once.Erect: Either because his bladder is full or he just saw a sexy woman, his penis is so erect that he more...
A visitor from Pakistan was strolling in a park in New Delhi, India, enjoying the greenery and flowers. He needed to empty his bladder badly, but couldn't find a urinal anywhere.
He couldn't hold out any longer, and went behind a large bush. Just as he was undoing his fly buttons a policeman caught him. "What do you think you are doing?" asked the constable.
"I want to pee," replied the visitor. "I am from Pakistan and I don't know where to go. Please help me out."
The constable ordered, "OK, follow me. I'll show you a place with more greenery, flowers and bushes than this park. You can pee there as much as you like." He took the Pakistani to a greener and more beautiful garden where he emptied his bladder.
The Pakistani emptied his bladder, thanked the policeman and asked "Whose garden is this, it is so beautiful?"
The constable replied, "This is the garden of the Pakistani High Commission."
Attila the Hun
One of the most notorious villains in history, Attila's army had conquered all of Asia by 450
AD--from Mongolia to the edge of the Russian Empire--by destroying villages and pillaging the
countryside.
How he died: He got a nosebleed on his wedding night
In 453 AD, Attila married a young girl named Ildico. Despite his reputation for ferocity on the
battlefield, he tended to eat and drink lightly during large banquets. On his wedding night, however,
he really cut loose, gorging himself on food and drink. Sometime during the night he suffered a
nosebleed, but was too drunk to notice. He drowned in his own blood and was found dead the next
morning.
Tycho Brahe
An important Danish astronomer of the 16th century. His ground breaking research allowed Sir Isaac
Newton to come up with the theory of gravity.
How he died: Didn't get to the bathroom in time
In the 16th century, it was considered an insult to more...