Blanket Jokes / Recent Jokes

escape a burning
building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are
on the street below, holding a blanket for them to
jump into.The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's
your only chance to survive!"The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the
blanket away...the Brunette slams into the sidewalk
like a tomato."C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to
the Redhead."Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says
the Redhead."No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with
Redheads!""OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The
firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is
flattened on the pavement like a pancake.Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof.
Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!""No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!"
yelled the Blonde."No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the
blanket more...

A man and a woman who are strangers find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. They both go to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower.
In the middle of the night the man leans over, wakes the woman and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?"
The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, "I have a better idea! Just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
The man is thrilled at the idea, so the woman says, "Good...Now go get your own damn blanket!"

A doctor had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket.

He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived. As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backwards and said, "You can't touch those babies. You aren't sterile!"

With out missing a beat, he retorted "You're telling me!"

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night, the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly
pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not?" giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own f***ing blanket."

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not?" giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."

A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available. Priest: Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep on the lounge and you have the bed. Nun: I think that would be okay. They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, I'm terribly cold. Priest: Okay, I'll get you a blanket. (He does) Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold. Priest: Okay Sister, I'll get you another blanket. (He does) Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wif e just for this one night. Priest: You're probably right...get up and get your own blanket.

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night, the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket." The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... let's pretend we are married." "Why not," giggles the woman. "Good," he replies. "Get your own damn blanket."