Blind Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

IDIOT SIGHTINGS... Sighting #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask." Idiot Sighting #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving!"Idiot Sighting #3: At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often," Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights more...

A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting.

When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him:
"I am placed in the door and told when to jump.
My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go."

"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.

"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered.

But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.

He quickly answered "Oh, that's the easy part. It's when the dog's leash goes slack."

how do you diciplie a blind kid?...
You move the furniture around.

In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it`s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were told to wait as the doctor got their files. The doctor came out and motioned for Patty to come in for her questioning. When Patty came into the office, she was instructed to sit in the seat across from the doctor. "Patty, you know the tradition of this institution so I imagine you know why you are here. You will be asked two questions, and if you get them right, you will be free to go. Do you understand all that you have been told?" said the doctor with a rather sly grin. Patty nodded, and the doctor began to question her. The first question was this: "Patty, if I was to poke out one of your eyes, what would happen?" "I would be half blind of course," more...

Blind Man One day a blind man came into a restaruant. A waiter came to him and asked "Would you like a menu, sir?".
The man said "No thanks but if you bring me a dirty fork I'll tell you what I want."
So the waiter brings him a dirty fork and the blind man sniffs it. Then he said "bring me the meatloaf and mashed potatos". So the waiter brings him meatloaf and mashed potatos.
The next day the same blind guy comes in. The waiter doesn't recognize him and asks if he would like a menu. The blind man says, "No but if you bring me a dirty fork I'll tell you what I want."
So the waiter brings him a dirty fork. The man sniffs it and says "I'd like the lasagna with extra cheese please". So the waiter brings him the lasagna.
The next day the blind man comes in and the waiter recognizes him. The waiter says "Let me guess you want a dirty fork, right?"and the blind man says "Yes I would.".
The more...

A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.
The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something."
The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."