Blonde Jokes / Recent Jokes
All members of Mensa have I.Q.s of at least 140.
At one Mensa convention, several members at a local cafe noticed the shaker with an S on top, for salt, contained pepper and their pepper shaker, with a P on top, was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling anything and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, here was the marvellous Mensa mystery!
They presented ideas, debated them, and finally came up with what they felt was a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.
They called the blonde waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.
"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker contains..."
"Oh, sorry!" interrupted the blonde waitress. "Here," and she unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.
A dumb blonde, a smart blonde and Santa Claus are walking down the street and see a twenty dollar bill lying on the sidewalk. Guess who picks it up?
The dumb blonde - The other two don't exist.
When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath to make me more attractive." The milkman replied, "Oh, OK. Pasteurized?" The blonde looked at the milkman with a confused look on her face and said... "No. Just up to my boobs."
A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.
The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed.
The redhead said "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said "No. A bet's a bet". So the redhead said "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money".
The blonde replied, "well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
Q: whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A:When you slap a mosquito on the head it stops suckin
There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.
They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them evil things and the explorers shall be poo head destroyed. The tribe was going to shoot them with a bow and arrow in the not head one at a time.
First they were going to shoot at the brunnette. She stepped up and they called 1-2-3 but before they could shoot she yelled TORNADO and everyone ducked and lay down on the ground and the brunnette ran way while they ducked. The tribe got mad and swore but did not go after her.
Then the redneck stepped up and they aimed and yelled 1-2-3.. but before they could shoot she screeched FLOOD and everyone jumped and climbed up the nearest tree. The redhead took advantage and ran away. They got really mad and swore but did not go after her.
They didn't like people more...