Bolt Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woodshop teacher asks the only girl in the class what the difference is between a nail, a screw, and a bolt on the first day of school and she says "
Well, I can't rightly tell you since i ain't never been bolted."
One beautiful Saturday afternoon a priest and a man are golfing. The priest tees-off first making a beautiful shot on the fairway. Next the man hits and his shot crashes into the water trap. "God-damn it I missed!" the man exclaims in anger. "Be careful or God will strike you with a lightning bolt," the priest replies. One the next tee the priest makes a nice shot onto the green while the man's lands in the sand. "God-damn it I missed!" "Be careful or God will strike you with a lightning bolt," the priest says. Next hole the priest gets the play within range for an eagle put. The man shots and again it flys into the water. "God-damn it I missed!" As the man said this, the sky clouded over. All of a sudden a lightning bolt came down and hit the priest. The man looked up to hear, "God-damn it I missed!"
the local vicar and a villager are having a game of golf and the villager gets to put and misses and goes damm missed the buger
and the vicar says if you say that again god will open up the heavens and strike u dead with a lightning bolt the village goes to strike again and misses and goes damm missed the buger the heavens opened up and a lightning bolt struck the vicar and god says damm missed the buger.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets.
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat more...
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit. ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the chaos principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are more...