Box Jokes / Recent Jokes

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 am, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 pm, a foil wrapped, two-pound box of her favourite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!".

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?"

Tom says, "I would switch one train to another track."

"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.

"I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever," answers Tom.

"What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.

"Then," Tom continues, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box."

"What if the phone was busy?"

"In that case," Tom argues, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station".

"What if that had been more...

Q. What do you call 15 blonde's in a circle?
A. A dope ring.
Q. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A1. The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
A2. None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.
Q. If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A. The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q. What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A. Her IQ goes up!
Q. What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A. A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
Q. What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A. Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
Q. What did the blonde's mom say to her before the more...

An old man and women are going out for a meal to celebrate there 50th anniversary. The old man is getting ready but cant find his shoes so he looks under the bed and finds a box with 2 eggs in it and a thousand pounds so that evening he questions his wife about it at dinner." Well.." she said "each time I was unfaithful to you I put an egg in the box""And what about the thousand pound?" asked the old man." Well..." Replies the woman "Each time I got a dozen eggs I sold them"

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."
Her friend asks "What is it a puzzle of?"
The blonde says "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
The blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box.
He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger."
"Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

What do you call an eternity? Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop. Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In FirstThree blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours, they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left." So they turned around and went home. What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but never see them. What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? Oh, look, Daddy.... doughnut seeds! Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Because it said concentrate. Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken. How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it. Why can't blondes dial 911? They can't find the 11 on the phone. What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth! How can you tell if a blonde's been using your computer? There is white-out all over the more...

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me..... I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger".
He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then. .........." he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."