Boy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner "Mom& Pop" grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundrydetergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's verypowerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. Infact, it might even kill him." But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergentto the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried totalk him out of washing his dog. About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy somecandy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer, trying not to be an "I-told-you-so", said he wassorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to usethat detergent on your dog." "Well, the boy replied, "I don't more...

You can lead a boy to college but you can't make him think.

When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all the children to give their first name. When she got to thelittle boy in the second row, he said: "I'll give you ahint. First it's in your hand, then it's in your mouth, and then it's in your tummy." The teacher smiled and said: "OK, Dick, sit down."

There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him.

'Nice bike,' the cop said,' did Santa bring it to you?'

'Yep,' the little boy said,' he sure did!'

The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he said,' Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it.'

To go along with the cop, the little boy said,' Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?'

'Yes, He sure did,' said the cop.

The little boy looked up at the cop and said,' Next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse instead of on top.'

It seems little farm boy Johnny accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. “Hey Johnny!! ” the farmer yelled. “Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up. ” “That’s mighty nice of you, ” Johnny answered, “But I don’t think daddy would like me to. ” “Aw, come on, ” the farmer insisted. “Well okay, ” the boy finally agreed, and added, “But daddy won’t like it. ” After a hearty dinner, Johnny thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know daddy is going to be real upset. ” “Don’t be foolish! ” the neighbor said with a smile. “By the way, where is he? ” “Under the wagon. ”

Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawn care specialist. How' bout I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!
Santa
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peaceand joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
Dear Santa,
I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really, really want a fire truck this year.
Love,
Joey
Dear Joey,
Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.
Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas I'd more...

20 Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate

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1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,' May I borrow a highlighter?'

2. Say,' Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that.'

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say,' Damn, this water's cold.'

5. Drop a marble and say,' Oh shit! My glass eye!'

6. Say,' Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.'

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say,' Now how did that get there?'

9. Say,' Humus. Reminds me of humus.'

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,' Whoa! Easy boy!'

11. Say,' Interesting... more floaters more...