Briefcase Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.
5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.
6. After you give them candy, hand the more...

1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.6. After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a more...

Three hookers are comparing notes about their customers from the night before.

"I entertained a cowboy last night", says the first.

"How did you know he was a cowboy?", asks the second.

"Well, he wore a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and kept both the hat and the boots on all the time we were together."

"Sounds like a cowboy, all right." the others say.

"I entertained a lawyer," announces the second. "I could tell because he wore a three piece suit and packed a briefcase. He wore the vest of the suit and hung on to the briefcase all the time."

They agree he sounded like a lawyer.

"I had a dirt farmer for a client," comments the third.

"How could you possibly know he was a dirt farmer?" she is asked.

"First he complained it was too dry, then he whined it was too wet, then he asked if he could pay me in the more...

A successful, wealthy and very arrogant bigshot city lawyer and a redneck got into a car wreck on a hot summer day. The lawyer got out of his BMW and the redneck got out of his pickup to survey the damage, and the redneck realized he was at fault...
"YOU STUPID REDNECK!" shouted the lawyer, looking with contempt at the redneck in his dirty overalls.
"Now how am I gonna get outa this?" though the redneck to himself. Then he had an idea...
After looking over the handsome, impeccably dressed and dignified city lawyer in his $2,000 navy blue pinstriped suit, carefully knotted red silk tie, starched white shirt, silver cufflinks and black dress shoes polished like mirrors, $1,000 briefcase and hundred dollar haircut, the redneck walked back to his car, got out a bottle, and brought it back.
He handed it to the hotshot and said, "Here, you look pretty shook up. I think you ought to take a nip of this. It'll steady your nerves....IT'S more...