Bronze Jokes / Recent Jokes

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display, he discovers a detailed life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.
"Twelve dollars for the bronze rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."
"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him.
Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and more...

One day an Indian, English, and Polish guy all wanted to get blow jobs.
So they decided to go to a place where they could get what they wanted.
When they got in they saw that there were three levels: gold, silver and
bronze.
So the English guy said, "I think I will take the bronze level. The other
two guys sat there for about two minutes when the English guy came out.
He said that was the best blow job he had ever had. The Indian asked him
what she did that was so special.
He said she put ice cream on my dick and licked it all off.
Then the Indian said I think I will take the silver level. Three minutes
later the Indian come out and said that was the best blow job I've ever
had.
The other two guys asked what she did. He said she put ice cream, hot
fudge and caramel on my dick and licked it all off.
The Polish guy was amazed at what she did to the Indian so he decided to
take the gold room.
Five minutes later he came more...

Note: The characters' speech should be spoken in a fake Asian accent. The r's and l's should be merged into an intermediate sound. When South Vietnam was nearing its end, and General Minh was in charge, a popular artist came to him and asked to make a statue in his honor (at government expense). "Please, General Minh, you are the people's hero," he told him. "Yes, but make the sculpture in bronze," replied the general. So the artist made the sculpture, but when it was unveiled in a small private ceremony, the general was furious. For the sculpture was made in gold. "I want bronze," he said, "I want bronze!" The artist went away in a hurry, deeply impressed with this show of humility. But he still wanted to honor the general, so he made the next sculpture in silver. But again the general was furious. "I want bronze," he said, "I want bronze!" This time the artist made the sculpture out of bronze as asked. When the sculpture more...