Buttocks Jokes / Recent Jokes
Here's a handy list to print out and carry with you at all times. Next time ya rip one and someone asks, "what was that?", you can now explain!
Silent But Deadly (SBD) Fart The type that remains totally inaudible, yet somehow causes all the occupants of a room to collapse. Can smell like anything, nasal investigators rarely have time to distinguish an odour.
Eggy Fart Smells very much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulphide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster.
Windy Fart The sort of fart which goes' Whoosh', and is more felt than heard. A little like an SBD, but louder and considerably less toxic.
Growling Fart Happens deep within the rectum (and therefore has no smell). Somehow never meets the light of day. Tends to growl like a dog at the vets.
Worrying Fart The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage more...
Here's a handy list to print out and carry with you at all times. Next time ya rip one and someone asks, "what was that?", you can now explain!
Silent But Deadly (SBD) Fart The type that remains totally inaudible, yet somehow causes all the occupants of a room to collapse. Can smell like anything, nasal investigators rarely have time to distinguish an odour.
Eggy Fart Smells very much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulphide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster.
Windy Fart The sort of fart which goes 'Whoosh', and is more felt than heard. A little like an SBD, but louder and considerably less toxic.
Growling Fart Happens deep within the rectum (and therefore has no smell). Somehow never meets the light of day. Tends to growl like a dog at the vets.
Worrying Fart The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage matters become less sure, as it feels more...
Here's a handy list to print out and carry with you at all times. Next time ya rip one and someone asks, "what was that?", you can now explain! Silent But Deadly (SBD) Fart The type that remains totally inaudible, yet somehow causes all the occupants of a room to collapse. Can smell like anything, nasal investigators rarely have time to distinguish an odour.Eggy Fart Smells very much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulphide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster.Windy Fart The sort of fart which goes 'Whoosh', and is more felt than heard. A little like an SBD, but louder and considerably less toxic.Growling Fart Happens deep within the rectum (and therefore has no smell). Somehow never meets the light of day. Tends to growl like a dog at the vets.Worrying Fart The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You more...
Warning Labels
The Washington Post: Sunday May 14, 1995, Final Edition
Report from Week 110, in which we asked you to come up with absurd warning labels for common products. We loved one particular entry for its wonderful idiocy:
On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place." We were going to make it a winner, until we discovered that it wasn't made up.
Fourth Runner-Up -- On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. (Gary Dawson, Arlington)
Third Runner-Up -- On a package of Fisherman's Friend(R) throat lozenges: Not meant as substitute for human companionship. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)
Second Runner-Up -- On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
First Runner-Up -- On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device. (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)
And the winner of the Power Ranger pinata -- On a cup of McDonald's coffee: more...
Editor's Note: It's dry parody. You gotta really like sci-fi to enjoy this one...
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Experiment 8 Postflight Summary
NASA publication 14-307-1792
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ABSTRACT
The purpose of this experiment was to prepare for the expected participation in long-term space based research by husband-wife teams once the US space station is in place. To this end, the investigators explored a number of possible approaches to continued marital relations in the zero-G orbital environment provided by the XXXXXX shuttle mission.
Our primary conclusion is that satisfactory marital relations are within the realm of possibility in zero-G, but that many couples would have difficulty getting used to the approaches we found to be most satisfactory.
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INTRODUCTION
The more...