Bye Jokes / Recent Jokes
John liked to frequent the Newfoundland beaches but never able to attract the girls. He decided to ask his friend Garge the lifeguard for advice.
It's them big baggy swimming trunks that make ya look like an old fish. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yrself a pair of Speedos -' bout two sizes too small, and drop a fist-sized potato down inside them. I'm tellin' ya bye, you'll have all the babes you want!
The following weekend, John hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potatoe. Everybody on the beach is disgusted as he walks by, covering their faces snickering, turning away, most laughing, some even looking a little sick!
John goes back to Garge the lifeguard and asks him, "What the devil is wrong now?
"Lard-Tunderin Jeezus Bye!"said Garge, "the potato goes in the front!"
A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend.
They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:
"Hello? Oh, hi.... I'm so glad that you called.... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time.... Oh, that sounds terrific.... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office: `Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa`. One day his wife fed up of this answered: ` Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap`.
A long, long, time ago
I can still remember when I dialed up their help desk lines.
And I knew if I had the chance
They could make my modem dance
with chats and GIFs and silly pick-up lines.
But Help Desk phone calls made me shiver
with every busy they’d deliver.
Bad news on the front page
A 19-hour outrage.
I can’t remember if I cried
when I realized that Steve Case had lied.
But something touched me deep inside
The day the service died.
So bye bye to Amer’ca Online
Drove my modem to a domain and it’s working just fine.
And good old geeks are cheering users offline
Saying this’ll be the day that they die.
This’ll be the day that they die.
Did you write the book of TOS
Will you send your password to PWD-BOSS
If an IM tells you so.
And will you believe the Motley Fool
When he tells you that the service rules
And can you teach me how to more...
In lighter vein. ..
Saddam calls Bush on 11th sept:
Saddam: Mr President, I would like to express my
condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people,
such great buildings... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that... It was not us...
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Saddam: Oh, and what time it is in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Saddam: Oops... Will call back in an hour! Bye bye.
* * * * * *
The Prime Minister of China called President Bush to
console him:
"I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very
big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from
the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."
[ Back to InfoLanka Jokes Page ]