Cabin Jokes / Recent Jokes
A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country flight, and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her.
Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the blonde and says, 'Miss, I'm sorry, but I see that your ticket is for coach, and you're seated in first class; I'm afraid you'll have to move.'
The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, and I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a model.'
Slightly incredulous, the attendant alerts the senior flight attendant.
The senior attendant approaches the blonde and says, politely, 'I'm sorry, Miss, but since your ticket is for coach, you'll have to move back.'
The blonde replies, sweetly, 'I'm blonde, and I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a model' - and shows no signs of moving.
Frustrated, the senior attendant informs the captain, and he says he'll deal with the problem. He turns over flight control, walks to the rear, more...
A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds.
The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK.
"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love".
The old man replied, "I thought so...would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window...they're choking my ducks!"
TRAVELLER'S TALES
IN THE LOBBY OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ACROSS FROM A RUSSIAN ORTHODOX MONASTERY:
"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday."
IN A HOTEL IN ATHENS:
"Visitors are expected to complain at the officebetween the hours of 9 and 11 a. m. daily."
IN A JAPANESE HOTEL:
"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
IN A BANGKOK DRY CLEANER'S:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
IN A NORWEGIAN COCKTAIL LOUNGE:
Ladies are requested not to have childrenin the bar.
AT A BUDAPEST ZOO:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have anysuitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
IN THE OFFICE OF A ROMAN DOCTOR:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
IN A CZECHOSLOVAKIAN TOURIST AGENCY:
Take one of our horse-driven citytours. We guarantee no more...
Once upon a time there was a man, he lived in the woods. The woods got cold in the winter, and burning up in the summer. But in the spring and fall it was just right.
He lived alone, so he was always bored. He sometimes read a book, drew, or just sat on the middle of his cabin floor staring at stuff, since he didn't have cable.
The man had never had sex either so he always wondered how to do it. He had had directions along time ago from his mom and dad, but he couldn't remember all of them.
The man finally figured out how to do it. The only problem was that he had no woman to screw, so he thought up a plan.
He was to go to the city. But the city was 100 miles away, he had no car, and he had never been there, so he had no idea what to do. All he knew was that he had to go east.
So the man went east and ended up in the middle of the city.
He went automaticlly to a hooker and said I'll pay you to give me sex, the woman said okay!
They got to a hotel room and more...
A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and had not been seen for five days.
An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds.
The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK.
"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love."
The old man replied, "I thought so. .. would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window? They're choking my ducks!"
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for the bear. He soon found a huge one, shot at it, but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, and he started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast, but teh bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door, and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"
Two Rednecks went bear hunting.
While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear.
He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.
The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.
He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.
Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"