Caller Jokes / Recent Jokes
The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre.Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct? Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.* * *Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: Woven? Are you sure? Caller: Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.* * *Caller: I'd like the RSPCA please.Operator: Where are you calling from? Caller: The living room* * *Caller: The water board please.Operator: Which department? Caller: Tap water.* * *Operator: How are you spelling that? Caller: With letters.* * *Caller: I'd like the number for a reverend in Cardiff, please.Operator: Do you have his name? Caller: No, but he has a dog named Ben.* * *Caller: The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please.Operator: You mean the more...
A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said. "Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked. "No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."
Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is so stuffed up, I cant understand you. You should really take something for that cold. Operator: Good idea. Ill take the rest of the day off!
A man doing telephone solicitations for a local charity called up a prominent and wealthy lawyer and asked him for a modest donation. The lawyer became incensed at the request and said to his caller: “I bet you weren’t aware that just this past week my wife required major surgery and the expenses for this surgery weren’t covered by insurance. ”The caller started to apologize and express his regret for having asked for money and was interrupted by the lawyer who chimed in, “And this past month my mother died and my family had to put together an expensive funeral for her. ”Again the caller tried to apologize to the lawyer for attempting to solicit a donation and told the lawyer he was sorry to hear that his mother had died. ”
Then just this past month, one of my sons came down with a serious illness and almost died….. and my daughter needed plastic surgery to repair a congenital defect on her face, ” the lawyer added to the conversation. The caller again felt bad more...
Any time you feel dumb, don’t worry. Check out the following excerpts from a “Wall Street Journal” article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.
1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the many calls asking where the “Any” key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn’t read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies more...
The radio show was Queensland FM (QFM) and the host was Jim.
The phone-in competition was to give an English word that's not in the Oxford Dictionary and put the word in a sentence. The first prize was a fortnight for two in Los Angeles.
The show went as follows (don't forget the Aussie accent):
Jim: 'Hi, this is Jim. What's your name and what's your word'
Caller: 'This is Bob from the bush and my word is gaan, spelt g. a. a. n. '
Jim: 'Thanks Bob, my assistants are just checking and they are telling me that the word does not appear in the oxford Dictionary, so for two weeks in Los Angeles, please put your word into a sentence.'
Bob from the bush: 'Gaan f*** yourself!'
Jim immediately breaks the call and puts out the following message: 'Ladies and gents, this is a family show and we would appreciate that any future contestants refrain from using such language.'
Forty-five minutes and many unsuccessful contestants later...
Jim: 'Hi, this is Jim at more...
Caller: “I’d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. ”
Operator: “I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Is the spelling correct? ”
Caller: “Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off. ”