Camel Jokes / Recent Jokes

In a far away middle eastern country, a brigade of American soldiers were stationed at a camp, outside of town. A new brigade commander comes over to take up command after the earlier one retires.

He asks the sargeant to take him around the camp, so he can familiarise himself. They go all around the camp and comes to closed shed. The commander inquires what's inside. The sergeant says there is a camel inside.

When the commander asks why the sergeant hesitates a bit and goes in to an explanation with a embarrassed face, "Well sir our men are far away from their wives and girlfriends, so when they don't do it for a long time it can get very frustrating, so we use the camel to.."

The commander bursts out furiously "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard, I command you to halt this immediately. We are a fighting unit, not a bunch of wild animals!" he yells and walks away steaming. Time goes by and the commander starts feeling more...

A saw this sign in a bar a few years ago.
A Camel can go eight days without a drink
but who the hell wants to be a Camel.

Two Iraqis went to the desert for a vacation. They rented a camel and headed out. Five days later they came back but without the camel.
The man who had rented them the camel was very upset and screamed, "Where is my camel?"
The Iraqis replied, "Well, we were riding along when we kept hearing people say, 'Look at the two assholes on that camel!' So finally we got off to take a look and the damn camel ran away!

A man is crawling through the Sahara desert when he is approached by another man riding on a camel. As the rider approaches, the crawling man whispers through his parched lips, "Water. .. please. .. can you give. .. water. .."
"I'm sorry," replies the man on the camel, "I don't have any water with me. But I'd be delighted to sell you a necktie."
"Necktie?" whispers the man. "I need water!"
"They're only four dollars apiece."
"I need water."
"Okay, okay, two for seven dollars."
"Please! I need water!" the man exclaims.
"I don't have any water, all I have are ties," replies the salesman, as he heads off into the distance.
By now the man has lost all track of time, crawling through the desert seemingly for days. Finally, nearly dead, with clothes tattered and skin peeling under the relentless sun, he comes upon a restaurant. Summoning his last bit of more...

Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, "See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.

The other guy says "No way".

The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel's legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air.

A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, "I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no."

The second guy says, "You got me last time, but there's no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no."

The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, "Remember what I did last time?". (Camel nods). "Want me to do it again?"

A man was sent to war in the middle east. Upon entering the camp he is greeted by his superior who informs him that this is a peaceful camp and if he should ever become horny that the answer to all his problems was located behind the camp wall. When he looked over the wall he saw a huge hairy camel and vowed that he would never become horny here and that he could wait until he got home.
Two weeks passe and he soon became extremely horny so he tolded one of his mates his problem. The other guy said " No problem. Just look over that wall there and there is the answer to all your problems."
The guys face lights up with joy and he ran over to the wall expecting to see something different but it was still the same old camel. He thought no way in hell and went about his business.
A month later he couldn't take it anymore. He asked another guy what to do and he said "Behind the wall is the answer to all your problems." The guy sighed but was so horny he more...

A nun and a priest were crossing the desert on a camel when suddenly it dropped dead.
"We're sure to perish here," the priest said "so I have a request of you sister..I have never seen a naked woman in all my life..Would you oblige me now that our end is near?"
With this the nun nodded yes, and disrobed..
The priest stared in amazement..So the sister says to the priest,
"I have never seen a naked man in all my life ..would you oblige me now that the end is near?"
"Yes sister," he said and took off his clothes.
The sister looking him up and down remarked on the size of his penis and asked if she could hold it in her hand..and as she did he got a huge erection..
"You know sister, if I put this in a special place I can create life."
"Well," said the nun, "if that is so...then stick it in the camel and lets get out of here!"