Camera Jokes / Recent Jokes

A fellow was visiting the Vatican and became separated from his tour group.
After wandering for awhile, he needed to relieve himself. He finally found a
bathroom and wandered in. You can imagine his surprise to discover the Pope
sitting on the toilet masturbating. Figuring that this would be an attraction
few tourists ever saw, he snapped a couple of pictures. The Pope managed to
recover his composure and offered the fellow $10,000 for the camera. The
fellow decide to take him up on the offer and an exchange was arranged.
The camera was a pretty nice unit, so, after disposing of the film, the Pope
decided he would use it on his world travels. One day while visiting a foreign
country, one of the faithful noticed the Pope's camera and remarked that it
was quite a unit. He then asked:
"How much did you pay for it?"
"Ten thousand dollars."
"Wow, the guy who sold you that must have seen you coming!"
Mark

whats the differance between a camera and a sock??? A camera takes photos and a sock takes 5 toes...

Edwin Land is famous for inventing the Land Camera, also known as the Polaroid - the first instant camera. But he could invent just about anything he turned his mind to. Once his wife, in desperation, asked him to invent something to shut the dogs up! Seems they had two bull misstifs that could raise a terrible racket when they got excited.
So Edwin set his mind to it and invented a speaker that would shout at the dogs when their noise got to an intollerable decibel level. Since his was the only voice they would obey, the recorded message was in his own voice. And it worked; when the voice boomed out, it quieted them instantly.
But, one evening the Lands were having a party and the house was full of guests, really making merry and whooping it up. The noise kept getting louder and louder, until finally a slamming door did it: it reached the decibel level to activate the speaker.
"BE QUIET! SIT!" And of course all the guests, recognizing the master's voice did, more...

The Pope wakes up one morning with a huge erection. Thinking that it wasn't very Catholic, he tries to get rid of it. Unfortunately, walking around the room, thinking about Arsenal and even getting some fresh air on the balcony all fail to soften him up.
With only one option left, he sat down on the balcony and relieved himself.
Later, the Pope was walking around Rome, when a man with a camera approached him. "Hello, Mr... Pope," the man says.
"Six o'clock this morning, on the balcony, I think you know what I'm talking about." "I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean," the Pope replied. "Oh, I think you do," the man retorted, "and 50 thousand will buy you the camera." Worried and confused, the Pope paid up and took the camera.
Back in the Vatican, one of the Pope's aides was asking about the camera. "A chap in town sold it to me for 50 thousand," the Pope explained. "50 thousand?" said the more...

What's the difference between men and women?
Women zoom with a camera by walking closer or farther away; men just push the button!

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME IN HANDY
A repeat offender got a life sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida. The man stole $49.73 worth of boxer shorts, panties, a sports bra and some cigarette lighters from a Wal-Mart store. His fatal mistake was flashing a knife at a security guard - which turned his petty theft into a felony. Since the man had been released from prison less than three years ago, Florida's repeat offender law required the judge to send him away for life without the possibility of parole.
INSULT TO INJURY
An unemployed sanitation worker in Miami is also facing life in prison - for shooting himself in the privates. In a drunken stupor, the man reached for a pistol he had hidden in his pants. The gun went off, and the bullet struck the man in the... nuggets. At first, he told officers someone else had shot him, but changed his story after paramedics found the shell casing in his underwear. Cops ruled the shooting more...

1. CURL UP AND DIE
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
Melinda Lowe, 39, SeguinTX

2. PAD PLEASE
An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance.
He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad.
He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.
Kate Newman, 46, Winston-Salem, NC

3. HO, HO, HO
I was taking a shower when my 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper.
Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots.
They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take
a more...