Capital Jokes / Recent Jokes
Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.
Teacher: "What's the nation's capital?"
Pupil: "Washington DC"
Teacher: "What does DC stood for?"
Pupil: "Dot com."
Alabama
Literacy ain't everything
Ya want fries with dat?
Alaska
Come, freeze your butt off
Arizona
Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds
Arkansas
At least we're not Mississippi
California
The Granola State
Nobody's actually from here
Fast reloading lanes available
The really long state
Colorado
Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
Official home of the winter ski bunny
Connecticut
Way too close to New York
Delaware
You'll need a map to find us
So close to Washington you can smell it
Florida
The Gunshine State
Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans go to die
Senior citizen discounts available
Come, enjoy the humidity
The snow capital of the US
Georgia
Home of the Rednecks
Gateway to Florida
Confederate money welcome
Hawaii
Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over
Book 'em Danno
Tom Seleck, Jack Lord, Don Ho - more...
Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal feelings prevent justice from running its proper course. But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness, and tried to convince her that she should serve on the jury. "Madam," he explained, "This is not a murder trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $21,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday." "Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Hunter. "I'll serve. I suppose I could be wrong about capital punishment after all!"
Top reasons why it's great to be Canadian
It beats being an American.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins
Own-an-eskimo scheme.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
What European capital has the most ghosts? Boodapest!
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Buddha:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
Colonel Sanders:
Damn, I missed one!
Anderson Consulting:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.
Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.
Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.
Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with more...