Caught Jokes / Recent Jokes

These are responses you may use when caught slepping on the job: "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." "This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me." "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!" "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." "I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress." "Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." "The coffee machine is broken..." "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..." ". .. in Jesus' name. Amen."

Old man sitting on his front porch in Louisiana watching the sunrise sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.
He yells out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
The boy yells back, "Roll of chicken wire."
The old man says, "What you gonna do with that?"
The boy says, "Catch some chickens."
The old man yells, "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"
The boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise, he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.
At the same time the next morning, the old man is out watching the sunrise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.
The old man yells out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
The boy yells back, "Roll of duck tape."
The old man says, "What you gonna more...

A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else, whereas the other guys would only catch three or four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe.

So the next morning the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done.

Sam's approach was simple. He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up.

Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam. "You can't do more...

10. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.9. This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to. 8. Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!7. I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm. 6. I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.5. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?4. Somone spiked the coffee machine. 3.. ..in the name of Jesus...Amen2. Someone must've put decaf in the wrong potAnd the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.

A blond bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that he cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.
The neighbor suggested that the blond notch the ear of one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.
The neighbor suggested that the blond measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.

A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which.
A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.
The neighbor suggested she notch the ear
off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.
The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.

A panhandler was caught trying to sneak aboard a Princess liner about to embark on a three-day trip to the Bahamas. He was caught by the Purser who threw him off the ship telling him, "Beggars can't be cruisers."