Celibate Jokes / Recent Jokes

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean...)
10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance".)
9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (I don't want to do my Dad.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend. (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)
5. I don't date men where I work. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me. (It's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)
1. Let's be friends. (I want you more...

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean...)
10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend (who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's).
5. I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like more...

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean...)10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.)8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)6. I've got a boyfriend (who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's).5. I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)4. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.) 3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.) 2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)...and the number 1 rejection line given by more...

When asked if her decision came about of religious or personal transformation, she responded, "I don't know... It's just the way I am. I love to celibate. Like that song,'Celibate- Good Times- Come On!' It's pretty much my philosophy. Who's Tony Blair?"

TOP TEN REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN (and what they actually mean):
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages
(I don't want to do my DAD.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You ugly dork.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend.
(I prefer my male cat and 1/2 gallon Ben & Jerry's ice cream.)
5. I don't date men where I work.
(I wouldn't date you if you're in the same *solar system*, much less the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm celibate.
(I've sworn off the likes of you or I'd rather be gang raped by midgets or I'd rather drink more...