Centerfold Jokes

Dear Male Giggler:
Your name has been submitted to us with your nude photo, and I regret to inform you that we will be unable to use your body in our centerfold.
On a scale of 0 to 10, your body was rated -2 by our panel of women ranging in age from 60 to 75 years. We tried to assemble a panel of women ranging from 23 to 35, but we could not get them to stop laughing long enough to reach a decision.
Should the taste of the American women ever change so drastically that bodies such as yours would be appropriate in our centerfold, you will be notified by this office. In the meantime, don't call us, we'll call you!
Sympathetically,
Jack Meoff
Centerfold Editor
P.S. We do commend you for your unusual pose. We were wondering, were you wounded in the war, or do you ride your bike a lot?

Playgirl Rejection LetterNovember 30, 1995PLAYGIRL, INC. Dear Mrs. Smith, We wish to thank you for your letter and the polaroid pictureof your husband. We agree that his appearance in our March issue asthe Playgirl's "Man of the Month" centerfold would have been a truly fitting way for you to honor your 75th anniversary of wedded bliss, and as a life-time memento on his birthday. We submitted the picture to our various panels of judges, asit is our routine procedure, with the following results: When rated by our panel of average American women (ages 25 to40) on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being the highest), his body was rateda -2. To further justify our ratings, we submitted your photographto another panel of women in the age bracket of 45 to 100. We couldn'tget them to stop laughing long enough to take the time to rate him. The old American women panel, aged 70 to 100, widowed for over twenty years, said "We'll retain our widowed status!" The Organization of Nude more...

Playgirl Rejection LetterNovember 30, 1995PLAYGIRL, INC.Dear Mrs. Smith, We wish to thank you for your letter and the polaroid pictureof your husband. We agree that his appearance in our March issue asthe Playgirl's "Man of the Month" centerfold would have been a truly fitting way for you to honor your 75th anniversary of wedded bliss, and as a life-time memento on his birthday. We submitted the picture to our various panels of judges, asit is our routine procedure, with the following results: When rated by our panel of average American women (ages 25 to40) on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being the highest), his body was rateda -2. To further justify our ratings, we submitted your photographto another panel of women in the age bracket of 45 to 100. We couldn'tget them to stop laughing long enough to take the time to rate him. The old American women panel, aged 70 to 100, widowed for over twenty years, said "We'll retain our widowed status!" The Organization of Nude more...