Chalk Jokes / Recent Jokes
If you are a cartoon character, have friends or relatives who are cartoon characters, or are a cartoon character sympathizer... please delete this message now. (grin)
I will not defame New Orleans
I will not waste chalk
I will not skateboard in the halls
I will not burp in class
I will not instigate a revolution
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I did not see Elvis
I will not call my teacher 'Hot Cakes'
Garlic gum is not funny
They are laughing at me, not with me
I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not fake my way through life
Tar is not a plaything
I will not Xerox my butt
I will not trade my pants with others
I will not do that thing with my tongue
I will not drive the principal's car
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not sell school property
I will not cut corners
I will not get very far with this attitude
I will not more...
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is."
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50, 000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer more...
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
A few years later the company contacted him regarding an impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else but to no avail.
In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine.
At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is." The part was promptly replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50, 000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his more...
Albert Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint
Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have no idea
the lengths that some people will go to sneak into heaven. Can you
prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a
blackboard and some chalk?"
Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly
appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and
symbols his theory of relativity.
Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really are Einstein!"
he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Pablo Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for
credentials.
Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"
Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."
Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning
mural with just a few strokes of chalk.
Saint Peter claps. more...
Albert Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates, St. Peter says, "You look like Albert Einstein, but you have no idea the lengths people will go to in order to sneak into heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"
Einstein asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk, please?"
St. Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and some chalk instantly appear. Einstein describes, with arcane mathematics and symbols, his theory of relativity. St. Peter is very impressed.
"You really are Albert Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
When Pablo Picasso arrives, once again St. Peter asks for credentials.
Picasso says, "May I use that blackboard and chalk?"
St. Peter says, "Go ahead."
Picasso erases Einstein's equations and quickly sketches a truly stunning mural. St. Peter claps. "Surely, you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"
St. Peter more...