Charge Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge.The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."Then the rectum said "I think I should be in charge."All the rest of the parts said "YOU?!? You don't do anything! You're not important! You can't be in charge."So the rectum closed up.After a few days, the more...

1. You work very odd hours.
2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
3. Your pimp gets most of the money.
4. You spend a lot of your time in a hotel room.
5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended for the right price.
6. You are not proud of what you do.
7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
8. You have no job satisfaction.
9. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.
10. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.
11. People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.
12. Your friends have distanced themselves from you and you're left hanging with only other "professionals."
13. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.
15. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or BMWs.
16. You know more...

A numbers mob was looking for a runner to pick up betting cash in a new location( A very rich area - Expected around $200,000 in cash daily ). A man was chosen but never showed up with the cash. Mr. Big asked the guy in charge of finding the runner, "Where is my money." The man replied that he didn't know and said that he would find him. The man located the new runner and brought him to Mr. Big's office. Mr. Big said, "Where the fuck is my money? ". The runner looked puzzled and started talking in sign language. Mr. Big said, "What the fuck is this?"The man in charge of hiring the runner explained that he was deaf and dumb and was the only person that he could find to take the job.Mr. Big said, "Do you know how to read sign language?"The man said, " No, but I'll find someone who can. ". He comes back with a female interpreter and Mr. Big asks her to ask the runner where his money is. The girl starts asking him in sign language where more...

One day the different parts of the body were having anargument to see which should be in charge.The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the mostimportant and I should be in charge."The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of youknow where we are, so I'm the most important and Ishould be in charge."The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pickanything up or move anything. So I'm the most importantand I should be in charge."The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy forthe rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the mostimportant and I should be in charge."The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to moveanywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be incharge."Then the rectum said "I think I should be in charge."All the rest of the parts said "YOU?!? You don't doanything! You're not important! You can't be in charge."So the rectum closed up. After a few days, the legs were more...

Shultz, a lawyer, bribed a man on the jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of murder which was brought by the prosecution. The jury was out for nearly a week before they returned to court with the manslaughter verdict. When Shultz paid the juror, he asked him if it had been hard to persuade the other jurors to get the charge of manslaughter. "Sure did," the juror replied, "all the others wanted to acquit him."

An Italian, and Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy. "You're in charge of sweeping," to the Irishman, "You're in charge of shoveling," and to the Chinese guy, "And you're in charge of supplies." "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile."

So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I didn't have a broom. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn't find him."

So then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel.

The Irishman replies, "I couldn't get myself a shovel. You left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I couldn't find him." more...

One day the goverment desided to see how we get along with other countries so they took an american, a frechman and a chinese guy and put them on an island for a year.
They tell the american that he is in charge of building. They tell the frenchman that he is in charge of cooking. Then, finally they tell the chinese guy that he is in charge of supplies.
One year later the goverment comes back and the american said: "Let me show you what I have built" and so he does. Then the frenchman said: "Let me show you what I have cooked." Then one of the goverment people asked what happened to the chinese guy and they said that the day that they were given their assigments he dissapeared. So they all start looking for him... Finally, the chinese guy jumps out of the woods and says: "Supplies!!"