Cleaning Jokes / Recent Jokes

THE IMPORTANT THINGS LIFE TEACHES US
1. Most Important Question.
During a students second month in a nursing school, the professor gave them a pop quiz. The students were a conscientious group and had breezed through the questions, until they read the last one:
What is the name of the women who cleans the school?
Surely this was some kind of joke they thought. They had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark hared and in her 50s, but how would they know her name?
They handed in their papers leaving the last question blank. Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count towards the quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello." They never forgot that lesson. They also learnt that the cleaning woman's name was Dorothy.
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2. more...

Cleaning out the aviary at a run-down zoo,
the keeper finds two finches that have dropped dead from old age. He picks them up and places them in a sack. After cleaning the cage he puts the sack in his wheelbarrow and moves on to the next cage.When he reaches the primate cage he finds two chimps who have also died of natural causes. "Waste not, want not" he says as he puts them in the sack with the finches.Later at feeding time, he flips the dead animals in the sack, into the lions' cage."Bloody hell" roars the lion..."Not finch and chimps again!"

The following information was gained through much arduous research involving men and women from all backgrounds and walks of life. It consists of the most frequently asked questions of women (i. e. relationships, sex and life in general). All women who read this are encouraged to use the wisdom contained therein to change their behavior in accordance with the truths established below. Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex? A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not as emotionally confused as women. It's a proven fact. Q: Should I have sex on the first date? A: YES. Before if possible. Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex? A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway. Q: How long should more...

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had set their new wives straight on their duties.

The first man had married a woman from Penn. and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house.

He said that it took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from West Virginia. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and cooking.

He told them that the first day he didn''t see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes was done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Texas girl. He boasted that he told her his house was to be cleaned, dishes washed, the cooking done and laundry washed. And this was all her more...

This young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windowsin the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up thisladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing noknickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare for asecond or two. But this evening an old geezer came along and stayedlooking."What are you looking at" she said."I'm looking at the moon" he said."Well, if you were here last night, you would have seen a man in it" shesaid.

Husband and wife are doing the spring house cleaning. Wife asks husband to hang some new curtain rods, but he can't do it without toggle bolts.
He sends her to the hardware store where she asks the man behind the counter for two toggle bolts. He puts them on the counter, then asks, "You wanna screw for these?"
"No," she replies, "but I'll blow you for the clock radio on the shelf."

This married guy took off all his clothes and laid down naked on the bed.
His wife came in with the vacum cleaner, doing some spring cleaning, when
suddenly the man said: "Suck my dick, woman."
The wife politely answered him by telling him that she is cleaning the
house
and is too busy. The man yells out this time: "SUCK MY DICK! I AM THE MAN
OF
THE HOUSE AND WHAT I SAY GOES!"
So the woman silently and obediently started sucking... while the man
roared
out: "SUCK... SUCK... HARDER... SUCK HARDER!!!" When suddenly he yells:
"BLOW... BLOW... BLOW... THE BLANKET'S UP MY ASS!!!"