Clerk Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a blonde went into Wal-Mart and saw something she liked. The Blonde asked the clerk what it was. The Clerk said it was athermous. What does the thermous do? It keeps hot things hotand cold things cold. So she bought one. The blonde brought it towork one day and the blondes boss who also is a blonde said whatis that thing? It is a thermous the first blonde said. What doesit do? Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. What do you havein it? I have coffee and a popcycle in it. Sent by Tom

Buying paint from a hardware store:Customer: Hi, how much is your paint? Clerk: We have regular quality for $12 a gallon and premium for $18. How many gallons would you like? Customer: Five gallons of regular quality, please. Clerk: Great. That will be $60 plus tax.
Buying paint from an airline:Customer: Hi, How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, Sir that all depends. Customer: Depends on what? Clerk: Actually, a lot of things. Customer: How about giving me an average price? Clerk: Wow that's too hard a question. The lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a gallon. Customer: What's the difference in the paint? Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference, it's all the same paint. Customer: Well, then, I'd like some of that $9 paint. Clerk: Well, First I need to ask you a few questions. When do you intend to use it? Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off. Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is $200 paint. Customer: What? When would I have to paint more...

In his youth, Frank was in good shape. But about 10 years ago he started gaining weight, and became quite obese.
Frank decided to loose weight. He worked hard, passed up desserts and excessive food in spite of the difficulty in doing so, and gradually went back to his former weight.
Again being slim, Frank decided to try on an old suit he hadn't been able to wear for years. It looked great. But he noticed something in the pocket. It was a ticket from a local shoe repair shop.
Frank didn't remember taking any shoes to be repaired, but he decided to take in the ticket to see if they still had his shoes.
The next day he walked in the door of the repair shop, and handed the clerk the ticket. After disappearing behind a curtain for several minutes, the clerk came out and announced, "They will be ready next Tuesday."

A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesnt serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing and again the clerk said he doesnt serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesnt serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How do you know I am a blonde?"The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"Thats not a TV - its a microwave."

On a slow day with few customers, a clerk at a telegram office looks down from her counter and sees a dog waiting in line.
"Oh, aren't you cute?" she says. "What would you like me to put on your telegram?"
"Bow wow wow, Bow wow wow," the dog replies.
The clerk says in a cutesy voice, "But you can add another' Bow wow wow' for the same price."The dog responds, "Now wouldn't that sound a little silly?"

Santa goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask." Santa then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold." Santa says, "I ll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It s a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"Santa replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day.

Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge's yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk's pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn't resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

"Oh, there's not much to it," admitted the clerk happily, "I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get more...