Clerk Jokes / Recent Jokes

A general store owner hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk, and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter.' I`d like some raisin bread, please,' the man says politely.

The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, located on the very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with an excellent view.

As the clerk retrieves the bread, a small group of male customers gather around the young man, looking in the same direction. Pretty soon each person is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.

After a few trips the clerk is tired and irritated. She stops and fumes at the top of the ladder, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the throng.' Is yours raisin too?' the clerk yells testily.

'No,' croaks the feeble old man....'But it's startin' to more...

A man was new in town and caught the flu, so he went to see a doctor. The doctor gave him three prescriptions. Before the man left the doctor's office, he asked for directions to the nearest pharmacy. The doctor said, "Go six blocks down and you will see a pharmacy on the left hand side."
The man followed the doctor's directions and had no trouble finding the pharmacy. As he got out of his car, he noticed a gigantic sign which read: "The Giant Pharmacy where you get more for your money."
He walked in and gave the pharmacist the three prescriptions. When his name was called, he noticed that the clerk placed a gigantic container of antibiotics on the counter, then had trouble picking up a huge bottle of cough syrup.
The man became alarmed, and before the clerk walked away to bring the third prescription, he yelled "Excuse me sir... the suppositories... I don't want them!!"

The following supposedly a true story.

This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21."

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give the scotch to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off of the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son.

I brought my selection - a baseball bat - to the cash register. "Cashm or charge?" the clerk asked.

"Cash," I snapped. Then apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau."

"Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you going back there?"

There is this (choose your favorite ethnic) man. He goes to a toy shop, to buy, a gift for his daughter...
He looks at a toy car: "How muj iz dis?"
"$100 " answers the clerk.
He thinks its too much.
He looks at a ball: "How muj iz dis?"
"$5" answers the clerk.
He thinks its too little.
Then, he finds the perfect thing, a doll. He again asks: "How muj iz dis?"
"$30" answers the clerk.
He is happy, just the right amount of money he wants to spend.
So, He pays for the doll, and he starts to leave. Before he leaves, he remembers he wanted the doll to be gift wrapped.
So he asks the clerk: "Can u rape it phor me?"

A guy walks into a store for some last-minute Christmas shopping, and sees a parrot for sale. He asks the clerk what the parrot's name is and the clerk tells him it's Chet. He also tells the man that this is one amazing parrot. If you put a match under his left foot, it sings Jingle Bells, and if you put a match under its left foot, it sings Deck the Halls. The man thinks that is the coolest thing he's ever seen, so he decides to buy it for his wife. So he gets home, and puts it away. Then he wonders what will happen if he puts it a match between its legs, so he tries it, and the parrot starts singing Chet's nuts roasting over an open fire...

At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.
"It opens at noon" answers the clerk.
About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker.
"What time does the bar open?" he asks.
"Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"
The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you."
"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"