Clinging Jokes

Desperately clinging to Utopian illusions.

Three men are standing at the gates to Heaven and the saint there says "I'm sorry guys but heaven's pretty full right now so unless your death was gruesome or unusual then you have to go down to Hell."
The first guy says "All right then. Well I suspected my wife of having an affair so one day I came home from work early and heard her moaning inside. I tried to break down the door I was so angry, but after a while I decided to use my keys. When I got in I searched the house for him but couldn't find him until I went out to the verandah for fresh air. Then I saw him clinging to the bottom railing.
"I was furious! I grabbed a hammer and started banging his fingers. He fell of into a bush so I threw the fridge on him.
"I had a weak heart and I died from the stress"
"Okay then you can go in."
The next guy says "Well I like to do push ups on my verandah every day but today it collapsed due to faulty building and I was more...