Closer Jokes / Recent Jokes

Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal.
"There`s a human with a gun, and he`s getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?"
To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ¦."

Little Billy
On day little billy was bored, so his sister
comes home with her boyfriend and sneaks threw the door, little billy looks at his sister and shes saying come closer and billy says what does that mean and his sister says thats how i give my boyfriend a cuddle so he says allright then next the door bell rings and his brother comes home and say boobs boobs i want my lovelys juciy boobs and little billy says whats boobs oh its part o your body. His mummy is in the bathroom and suddenly she drops her foundation so she says
shit
and then his dad is in the kitchen cutting up a chicken a cuts his finger by mistake and say fuck.
so he then goes to the door and says hello to his grandparents and says that his sister is get closer to her boyfriend while his brother is sucking his boobs and his moth i in the bathroom putting on shit and dad is fucking the chicken
then

Theres a guy with a 25-inch penis and is always wanting to get closer to the girls he is having sex with. One day he comes upon a witch and he tells her about his problem. She tells him about a frog who can make his penis smaller. All he had to do is make the frog say no and his penis would shrink 5-inches. So he goes to find the frog and ask the frog to marry him. The frog says no and hes down to 20-inches. He decides he wants to be closer so he ask the frog to marry him again, and again the frog said no and another 5-inches are gone. He decides he wants to be even closer so he ask the frog one more time to marry him. The frog said"How many times do I have to tell you? No, no, no, no, no."

Kanjibhai is talking to the family doctor. "Doc, I think my wife Rupaben going deaf."

The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question.

If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."

Kanjibhai goes home and tries it out.

He walks in the door and says, "Muna ni Ba, what's for dinner?"

He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her.

"Eh are you listening, what's for dinner?" Still no answer.

He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away from her.

Finally, Rupaben answers, "For the eleventh time, I said we're having THEPLA!"

FRED: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face to face with a very fierce gorilla? BERT: No, what happened? FRED: Well, I stood there, without a gun. . . The gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and beat his chest. Then it came closer and closer. . . BERT: What did you do? FRED: Oh, I'd had enough, so I moved on to the next cage.

A Methodist minister meets three Baptist deacons on the golf course and invites them to come to his church some Sunday. Not too many weeks thereafter, just as services are starting, they show up.
Attendance was good in the small Methodist church, and there wasn't a pew available; several church members were already seated on folding chairs. When the minister, just starting the service, saw the three Baptist deacons enter, he leaned down from the pulpit and whispered to the nearest usher, "Please get three chairs for my Baptist friends in the back."
The usher, hard of hearing, leaned closer and said, "I beg your pardon?"
"Get three chairs for my Baptist friends," repeated the minister.
The usher strained closer with a puzzled look still on his face. Once more the minister tried, speaking slowly and distinctly. "Three Chairs... For The Baptists," he enunciated.
The usher's face lit up in comprehension, and he turned to face the more...

A guy walked up to this little boy and asked what was closer, ( it was a joke) the moon or the Cayman Islands. The little boy said, "The moon, because you can't see the Caymen Islands, but you can see the moon."
The guy decided to show some people on the streets this fine genius. That same day, the guy shouted out, "Listen to the genius. Once the guy asked which was closer, the moon or the Cayman Islands, the little boy said " The Cayman Islands."
"Why do you think that?" the guy asked. the boy said "Yesterday, I saw some people from the Cayman Islands. Have YOU ever seen some one from the moon? I sure haven't."