Communication Jokes / Recent Jokes
A communication technician drafted by the army was at a firing range. At the range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and 50 rounds. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The technician looked at his weapon, and then at the target. He looked at the weapon again, and then at the target again. He then put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
Proof by example:
The author gives only the case n = 2 and suggests that it contains most of the ideas of the general Proof.
Proof by intimidation:
"Trivial."
Proof by vigorous handwaving:
Works well in a classroom or seminar setting.
Proof by cumbersome notation:
Best done with access to at least four alphabets and special symbols.
Proof by exhaustion:
An issue or two of a journal devoted to your Proof is useful.
Proof by omission:
'The reader may easily supply the details'
"The other 253 cases are analogous"
"..."
Proof by obfuscation:
A long plotless sequence of true and/or meaningless syntactically related statements.
Proof by wishful citation:
The author cites the negation, converse, or generalization of a theorem from the literature to support his claims.
Proof by funding:
How could three different government agencies be wrong?
Proof by eminent authority:
"I saw more...
Common sense is not so common.
Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough. - Descartes, 1637
Communication with the dead is only a little more difficult than communication with (Insert Your Favorite Group - Engineering/Financial...)
Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.
Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
Confusion creates jobs.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
Conscious is being aware of something; conscience is wishing you weren't.
Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
Parties: Going Without New Outfits
Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
Introduction to Parking
Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
Water Retention: Fact or Fat
Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
PMS: Your Problem... Not more...
And for those of us who are sick of the man-bashing jokes, it's her turn now:
Women think they already know everything, but wait... training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or more...