Competitor Jokes

The following story is said to be true:
More than two centuries ago a famous astronomer Charles Messier lived in France. He was a keen comet hunter, he discovered many of them. (The astronomers know Messier's catalogue of nebulous objects which is still used.) He had a competitor (also French) who also discovered a lot of comets.
One night Messier could not go to his observatory as his wife was dying. Two things happened during the night: Messier's competitor managed to discover a new comet and Messier's wife died.
When Messier's friends got to know of the death of Mrs Messier they came to express their sympathy to the astronomer who replied: "It is a great loss for me. And imagine that on the top of it my wife is dead."

as submitted to www.Dilbert.com
The company stock suddenly is worth something, then trading is halted before you can cash in.
Your management has just emphatically denied that any merger is currently being contemplated.
Your paycheck comes with the competitor's logo.
The guy you used to yell at during trade shows is introduced as your new boss.
The address on your new business cards does not correspond to the location of the office you go to every day.
I work for the government, so merging with a competitor would probably mean storm troopers marching through the streets.
The customer service folks are told to stop telling customers that company X will cheat them on service contracts. Now they're our service.
The owner's daughter sends you an invitation to her wedding with the competitor's son.
The product which your salespeople described not a long time ago as being a dangerous health hazard is now one of the leading products in your sales more...