Complex Jokes / Recent Jokes

Never write a line of code that someone else can understand.
Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Use long
counter intuitive names. Don't ever code "a=b", rather do something
like:
AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm));
Type fast, think slow.
Never use direct references to anything ever. Bury everything in
macros. Bury the macros in include files. Reference those include
files indirectly from other include files. Use macros to reference
those include files.
Never include a comment that will help someone else understand your
code. If they understand it, they don't need you.
Never generate new sources. Always ifdef the old ones. Every binary
in the world should be generated from the same sources.
Never archive all the sources necessary to build a binary. Always
hide on your own disk. If they can build your binary, they don't
need you.
Never code a function to return a value. more...

I have an inferiority complex, it's just not a very good one.

W O M A N
If you kiss her, you are not a gentlemen
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you don't love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you don't like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel
If she is visited by another,' Oh! it's natural, we are girls'
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you more...

To every complex problem there is an easy answer; and it is wrong!

Why is a physician held in much higher esteem than a statistician?
A physician makes an analysis of a complex illness whereas a statistician makes you ill with a complex analysis!

1. Your family secretly tells you they're taking to you to Disneyland, but for some odd reason they blindfold you for the whole ride, and when they take it off the blindfold your at a psychiartirst. You start having complex dreams about Youthink and the members.
2. You start comparing your friends to the members on the site.
3. While buying lotto tickets, you have a list of your favorite member's birthdays.
4. You start remembering passages out of your term papers so that you can use them in an argument here.
5. Whenever you hear a question, you wonder if you can add it here.
6. You skipped a party with your friends so you could stay on here, drink a bottle on vodka, and pretend you are drinking with other members.
7. You start to mention this site and quoting what other members said on a thread at parties or when you get together with family/friends.
8. It's 2:30 am on a school night, and you tell yourself "just five more minutes" and 2 hours more...

"Madame," said the psychiatrist, "you haven't got a complex; you ARE inferior."