Cork Jokes / Recent Jokes
It was several weeks before Pesach. I had 12 bottles of whiskey in my cellar that my wife instructed me to empty. She said, "Empty each and every bottle down the sink," so I proceeded with the task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth sink, poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next, and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the glass and poured the cork from the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink, and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied I steadied the house with one hand, more...
A ship was travelling over a rough sea when all of a sudden a violent storm broke out.
The people on the boat were extremely scared of being thrown overboard so they all went downstairs. When the big waves started throwing the ship around there were still three people on deck who refused to go downstairs.
After a few hard knocks the ship was turned upside down and sank. The only survivors were the three guys who stayed on deck who washed up on a deserted island.
The next morning the guys decided that they would have to live together in harmony and they made an agreement to be friends.
Two days later after the three guys had built a shelter and found some fresh water and fruit, a bottle washed up on the shore. One of the guys walked up the beach and brought the bottle back to the shelter for the others to see.
Blaze, the smartest of the three said they should open it. Jay, the strongest of the three grabbed the bottle and pulled at the cork wedged tightly in the more...
A Tallahassee area mortician had a new apprentice who was learning the
embalming ropes. He walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was
lying on the table.
Thinking he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his boss,
he began examining the body. He rolled it over and to his amazement
there was a cork in its ass. Mystified, he pulled it out, and
immediately heard, the Florida State Chop song come out the guys butt.
Startled by what had happened, he shoved the cork back into the
cadaver and ran up the stairs to find his mentor. "Sir, you've got to
come down and help me, I've just seen something I can't believe."
Annoyed by the naivet of his assistant, he said OK and followed him
downstairs. "There, look at the cork in the ass of that body, I
couldn't imagine what it was doing there so I pulled it out. Please
you do it."
The mortician was a bit surprised to see the cork, too, so he walked
to the more...
After the first day of football practice one guy Travis asks Justin, "Justin, do you know that you have a cork in you a--?"
Justin simply says "yea."
Travis replys "Well, doesn't it hurt?"
"yea, but i can't take it out"
Travis is confused, "why not?" he asked.
Justin says "well, over the summer i was walking on the beach and i found a bottle with a cork in it. So, i pulled the cork out and a genie popped out and said that she will grant me one wish. So i said NO S---!!!!!"