Corner Jokes / Recent Jokes

Cronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cut. The barber cuts his hair, and after he gets done, as Cronin gets up and is taking out his money, the barber goes over and takes a leak in the corner of the barber shop. The barber finishes and comes back. As Cronin hands him a twenty-dollar bill, he says, "Listen, it's... it's none of my business, but... why would you take a piss in the corner of your barber shop?"The barber says, "Hey, my lease is up in two weeks... do I care?"The barber goes over to the cash register, rings up the haircut, and comes back with Cronin's change. When he comes back, Cronin's standing there taking a shit on the floor. The barber says, "What are you doing?"Cronin says, "Well, fuck, I'm leaving now."

A guy is walking through Chinatown in New York. He is fascinated by all the Chinese restaurants, the shops, the signs and banners on all the buildings.
He is having the greatest time just walking and looking around. He turns a corner and sees a building with a sign that says. ... .. "Hans Olafsen's Laundry."
"Hans Olafsen?" he thinks. "How in the world does that fit in here?"
So, he walks into the shop and sees and old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks "How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Olafsen's Laundry?"
The old man says, "Is name of owner."
The visitor asks, "Who in the heck is the owner?".
"I am he," answers the old man.
"You, how in the heck did you ever get a name like Hans Olafsen?".
The old man replies..."Many years ago, when come to this country, I standing in line at immigration office. Man in front was big more...

How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circular room and tell her there is a vibrator in the corner.
How does a blonde confuse you?
When she comes out and says she found it.

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. more...

how do you confuse a blonde?
put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in a corner.
how does a blonde confuse you?
she shows you the corner she peed in

The Rookie Cop...A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner people."A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again..."I SAID, let's get off that corner... NOW!"Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"Pretty good," chuckled the vet, "especially since this is a bus stop!"

Anthony's Law of Force: Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.
Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company, Nowadays it insists on it. - Columnist Russell Baker
Banacek's Eighteenth Polish Proverb: The hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon by the bee.
Barker's Proof: Proofreading is more effective after publication.
Becker's Law: It is much harder to find a job than to keep one. - Jules Becker & Co. (Becker goes on to claim that his law permeates industry as well as government, "... once a person has been hired inertia sets in, and the employer would rather settle for the current employee's incompetence and idiosyncrasies than look for a new employee.")
Belle's Constant: The ratio of time involved in work to time available more...