Couch Jokes / Recent Jokes

Doctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm not allowed up on the couch!

Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting fromother boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she becameflustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny she told him tohide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sisterand her boyfriend. This he did, and the following morning Johnnydescribed everything to his mother. Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile, then he turned offmost of the lights. Then he started to kiss and hug her, I figuredsis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. Hemust have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse tofeel her heart, just like the doctor would. Except he's not as goodas the doctor, because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. He was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them startedpanting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must more...

A businessman was traveling in the train and his seat was reserved in the last couch of the train. Every time the train stops at station and he faced so much of problem as all shops to purchase eatables were far off. He was very upset and every time he was remembering thats all happened because I am in the last couch. When he got down at the destination station, he asked the station person that he wants to lodge a complaint against the railway staff. The complaints and suggestions book was given to him and he wrote: " There should not be any last couch in the train. If there is any last couch in the train, it should be kept somewhere in the middle.

Having escorted the young lady home from their first date, the rather reserved lad was invited in for a nightcap. As the girl prepared the drinks, the fellow strolled about, a bit ill at ease, admiring her apartment.
"Be careful if you sit on that couch," she cautioned. "If you press down on the arm and pull forward on the seat while pushing against the back cushion, it turns into a bed."

A guy was having trouble with his cat.
his cat would always scratch the sofa but never the scratching post.
one day the guy got an idea.so he bought a new couch and replaced the scratching post with the old couch hoping this would solve his problem.
But his cat just began scratching the new sofa.
Then another idea hit him.So he got some clay and got to work.
scratching post-$57
New sofa-$299
clay-$9
understanding your cat likes to scratch your face more than he likes to scratch the couch-priceless

A businessman was traveling in the train and his seat was reserved in the last couch of the train. Every time the train stops at station and he faced so much of problem as all shops to purchase eatables were far off. He was very upset and every time he was remembering that's all happened because I am in the last couch. When he got down at the destination station, he asked the station person that he wants to lodge a complaint against the railway staff. The complaints and suggestions book was given to him and he wrote: " There should not be any last couch in the train. If there is any last couch in the train, it should be kept somewhere in the middle.

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog. Doctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it. But I'm not allowed up on the couch! Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking! Doc: Do you drink a lot? Not really - I spill most of it! Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache? Doc: Of course. Just take this hammer and smash yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache. Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God! Doc: When did this start? Well first I created the sun, then the earth, then the... Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! Doc: Have you ever tried it by taking the spoon out FIRST? Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots? Doc: I never make rash promises! Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog! Doc: So what's wrong with that? I think I'm going to croak!