Cross Jokes / Recent Jokes

IDIOTS IN SERVICE
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).
IDIOTS AT WORK
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the more...

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray my penis I will keep, And if I wake and it is gone, I hope to find it on the lawn.
I hope the dog that's running free, Doesn't see that little part of me, Many precautions I must take, To keep this part I love to shake.
Much attention I must pay, To assure I put the knives away, The mower, chain saw, the hatchet too, Why there's no telling what she'd do.
To rid me of my manly charm, I must keep it safe, away from harm, So I cross my fingers, as I close my eyes, and I cross my legs to avoid surprise!

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray my penis I will keep, And if I wake and it is gone, I hope to find it on the lawn.I hope the dog that's running free, Doesn't see that little part of me, Many precautions I must take, To keep this part I love to shake.Much attention I must pay, To assure I put the knives away, The mower, chain saw, the hatchet too, Why there's no telling what she'd do.To rid me of my manly charm, I must keep it safe, away from harm, So I cross my fingers, as I close my eyes, and I cross my legs to avoid surprise!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!

Q: What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have? A: A catastrophe! Q: Who was the most powerful cat in China? A: Chairman Miaow! Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree? A: A cat-a-logue! Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim? A: An octopuss! Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross? A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit! Q: When the cat's away.....? A: The house smells better! Q: Why was the cat so small? A: Because it only ate condensed milk! Q: Why did the cat cross the road? A: It was the chicken's day off!

what do you get if you cross a werewolf wit some
one who makes potery?
hairy potter

A werewolf joke
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks!

A werewolf joke
How do you know if a werewolf’s been in the fridge?
The paw prints in the butter!

A skeleton joke
What do boney people use to get into their homes?
Skeleton keys!

A vampire joke
Why do vampires hate arguments?
Because they make themselves cross!

A vampire joke
Why was the young vampire a failure?
He fainted at the sight of blood!

A vampire joke
Why did the vampire attack the clown?
He wanted the circus to be in his blood!

A vampire joke
What do you get if you cross Dracula and Al Capone?
A fangster!