Cuckoo Jokes / Recent Jokes
The other night I was invited out for a night with the guys. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight... "promise!"
Well, the hours passed quickly and the beer was going At 3am, drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times.
Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for having such a rapid, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.
The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Got away with that one, I thought! Then she told me we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said, "Well, last night it cuckooed 3 times, then said,' oh f**k,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more.... then farted."
The other night I was invited out for a night with the guys. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight... "promise!"
Well, the hours passed quickly and the beer was going down way too easy. At 3am, drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for having such a rapid, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.
The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Got away with that one, I thought! Then she told me we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said, "Well, last night it cuckooed 3 times, then said,' oh f**k,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more.... then farted."
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500, 000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right. .. but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32, 000 -- are you ready?" Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!" Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it........ A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars." "I think I know who it.. but I'm not 100%... No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure. Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone? Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham." (ringing) Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..." Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500, 000, but needs your help to be a Million. The next voice you more...
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I promised my husband that I would be home by midnight.
The hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., drunk to the gills, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12:00. He didn't seem disturbed at all. "Whew," I thought, "got away with that one!"
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh shit!" cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, more...
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promised".
Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall
started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told
him 12:00. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why, he said, "Well last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "oh sh*t," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed more...
A blonde named Barbara is appearing on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far -$500, 000 and one life line left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever Million dollars if you get it right... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32, 000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it...
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush.
"Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars.
Barbara: " I think I know who it... but I'm not 100%... No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis just to be sure."
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Carol back home in Brooklyn." (ringing)
Carol (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Carol, it's Regis Philbin here from Who more...
The Bird Question A blonde named Pam is appearing on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” with Regis Philbin. Regis: “Pam, you’re up to $500, 000 with one lifeline left: phone a friend.
If you get it right, the next question is worth one million dollars. If you get it wrong, you drop back to $32, 000. Are you ready? ” Pam: “Yes. ”
Regis: “Which of the following birds does not build its own nest?
Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush. ”
Pam: “I’d like to phone a friend. I’d like to call Carol. ”
Carol (also a blonde) answers the phone: “Hello? ”
Regis: “Hello Carol, it’s Regis Philbin from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have your friend Pam here who needs your help to answer the one million dollar question. The next voice you hear will be Pam’s…”
Pam: “Carol, which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest?
Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush. ” Carol: “Oh geez, more...