Dash Jokes / Recent Jokes

!*' ' #
^''`$$-
!*=@$_
%*~#4
&[]../
|{,,SYSTEM HALTED

To read out loud...:

Waka waka bang splat tick tick dash
Caret quote backtick dollar dollar dash
Bang splat equals at dollar underscore
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash
Pipe curly-bracket comma comma crash

*Panama hats come from Ecuador not Panama.

*Human birth control pills work on gorillas.

*In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

*S. O. S. doesn't stand for "Save Our Ship" or "Save Our Souls" -- It was chosen by an 1908 international conference on Morse Code because the letters S and O were easy to remember and just about anyone could key it and read it, S = dot dot dot, O = dash dash dash.

*Crickets hear through their knees.

*A' jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

*The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

*Heroin is the brand name of morphine once marketed by Bayer.

*U. S. Interstates which go north-south are numbered sequentially starting from the west with odd numbers, and Interstates which go east-west are numbered sequentially starting from the south with even numbers.

*According to Genesis 1: 20-22 the more...

A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife's private part. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quiteshaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the doctor. The doctor, after examining her, says that the wasp is too far in to remove with forceps so he says to the husband that he will have to try and entice it out by putting honey on his penis and withdrawing as soon as he feels the wasp. And so the honey is smeared, but because of his wife's screaming and his frantic dash to the doctor and the general panic, he just can't rise to the occasion. So the doctor says he'll perform the deed if the husband and wife don't object. Naturally both agree for fear the wasp will do any damage, so the doctor quickly undresses, smears the honey on and instantly gets an erection, at which time he begins to plug the wife. Only he doesn't stop and withdraw but continues with more...

A truck driver breaks down and shortly another trucker stops to givehim hand. He notices that the first driver has a big red spot paintedon his dash and asks him what it's for. He replies "Oh that's aconversation piece for when I pick up female hitchhikers. I get lotsof pussy that way" The other driver thinks that's a great idea so hepaints a red spot on his dash too. Then he sees a girl hitchhiking sohe picks her up. She notices the red spot on the dash and asks himwhat it's for. He says "It's a conversation piece. You wanna fuck?"