Date Jokes / Recent Jokes

This couple were going on there first date.The guy had gone to pick his date up for dancing her father goes."
You two going dancing"
The boy replyed yes and her dad says"
She loves to screw she'd screw all night if she could"
.A few hours later she comes and yells at her dad"
Daddy!!! It's called the twist.

A young couple entered in a most embarrasing date contest and
won by a mile. Here is their stroy:
Two young people, Dave and Diane, were set up on a date to go
sking in the mountians. They were driving up the mountian side
and Diane had to use the washroom. "Can't you wait until we get
there?" Dave asked. Diane waited. A little while later, Diane
couldn't hold it any longer, "Either you pull over or I go in
your car!" Dave pulled the car over.
Diane got out and leaned against the fendor while taking a whiz.
When she was done, she was horrified to find her butt frozen to
the fendor. She sheepishly called Dave. To their disgust, they
agreed that the only way she could be freed was if Dave peed on
her butt to thaw it out. The embarrased couple's plan worked,
and after that date they never saw each other again.

"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her room-mate.
"Terrible!" the room-mate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner!"

TOP 10 REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN (and what they actually mean)
10. I think of you as a brother.. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.. (I don't want to do my dad)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.. I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend .. (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's)..
5. I don't date men where I work.. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me.. (It's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm celibate.. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)
and the number 1 rejection more...

"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"It was awful!" answered the roommate. "The guy showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a really expensive car! What's so awful about that?" she asked.
"He was the original owner!" groaned the roommate.

Tips on Love (by kids, 5-10 years of age): WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?? "Eighty-four, Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy, 8)"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tom, 5)WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10)WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR,' cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?? "It's better for girls to be more...

TOP 10 REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN (and what they actually mean)10. I think of you as a brother.. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")9. There's a slight difference in our ages.. (I don't want to do my dad)8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)7. My life is too complicated right now.. I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)6. I've got a boyfriend .. (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's)..5. I don't date men where I work.. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)4. It's not you, it's me.. (It's you.)3. I'm concentrating on my career.. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)2. I'm celibate.. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it really means)1. more...