Daughter Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what; metal, wood, plastic - anything she touched would melt! Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took up the challenge.
The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly.
The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the hardest substance in the world more...

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice.""Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it.
They decided on the word Typewriter.
One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".
The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."
The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.
A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."
The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter.
Everything the girl touched, would melt. No matter what, metal, wood, plastic, etc. Everything she touched would melt! Because of this, men were afraid of her and nobody would dare to marry her.
One day a wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that would not melt in her hands, her symptom will be cured." The king was overjoyed.
The next day, he held a competition, any man that can bring her daughter an object that would not melt, gets to marry her and inherit the king's wealth.
Three young princes took up the challenge.
The first prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the hardest and will not melt. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted! The prince went away sadly.
The second prince brought a very hard alloy but the same thing happened... so he too went away.
The third prince told the princess "Put your hand in my pocket and more...

A Chinese man had three daughters, he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest," said the eldest daughter. He then asked his second daughter who she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest," said the second daughter. He finally asked his youngest daughter who she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground," said the youngest daughter.

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it.They decided on the word Typewriter.One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.

One day there was this farmer. He had 3 daughters and they each had a date on Saturday night.
The first date comes to the door. the farmer answers the door.

The first date says, "Hi my name is Joe, I'm here to take your daughter Flow to eat some dough."
The farmer says sure. Soon the second date comes to the door, "the date says hi, I'm Freddy, I'm here to take your daughter Betty to eat some spaghetti." The farmer goes sure.
Then the last date comes to the door. "he say hi, my name is Chuc-k..."The farmer goes "Get the hell out of my house!!!