Debra Jokes

NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20 even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need because it's on sale.
BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any more...

The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff.
He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.
It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.
He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go.
Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over
after partying all night.
She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the boss approached her and said, "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Debra replied, "Could you jack off? I feel like sh*t."

NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out for a beer, they will affectionately refer to each other as LardAss, Butt-Breath, Peanut-Head and Useless.
EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $
22.
50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
BATHROOMS: A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument!
DRESSING UP: A man will dress more...

MEN and WOMEN, COMPARED:
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water more...

An executive was in a quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.

He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hungover after partying all night. She went to the water cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."

Debra replied: "Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache."