Defendent Jokes / Recent Jokes

A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the
defendent, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the
influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a
jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the
hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a
dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.
The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed
the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10
minutes and it was very clear that the defendent was guilty. The jury
went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home,
and everyone waited.
After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and
sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the
verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they
got a verdict more...

An accident claim for $ 100, 000. 00 came up before an high court, the defendent's lawyer got up and said " My lord, at the seane of the accident when the police officer asked the plaintiff how he is and the answer the plaintif gave in his own words were " I am alright ", now how can he claim such a colosal amount as damages from my client.
The plaintiffs lawyer got up and said " My lord let my client explain to your lordship in his own words how the accident happened" so the Judge instructed the plaintiff to narate the accident. The plaintiff said that when he was coming from his farm in his horse carriage, with his pet dog seated by his side, the vehicle driven by the defendent in high speed hit his horse carrige with such a force the carriage was thrown to a side and so were the horse, the dog and himself.
The accident was reported to the police and an officer came to investgate, the seane was in a mess and the police officer went near the horse more...

A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendent, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendent was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?" The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? more...

30 things people actually said in court
Question 1.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Question 2.
Q: What gear were you in the moment of impact?
A: Gucci sweets and Reeboks.
Question 3.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you have forgotten?
Question 4.
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: 38 or 35, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: 45 years
Question 5.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A My name is Susan.
Question 6.
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximatly milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: more...

30 things people actually said in court
Question
1. Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Question
2. Q: What gear were you in the moment of impact?
A: Gucci sweets and Reeboks.
Question
3. Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory
A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you have forgotten?
Question
4. Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: 38 or 35, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: 45 years
Question
5. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A My name is Susan.
Question
6. Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximatly milepost
499. Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost more...