Deputy Jokes / Recent Jokes
parking lot.
An Florida Orange County sheriff's deputy crashed his car when turning into an adult book store parking lot.
Since it was not a rear-ender there's no joke here.
Two local men were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County Deputy Davey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.
Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center.
The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column.. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded east-bound toward the White River Bridge.
After traveling approximately 20 miles and just more...
Q: Why don`t Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning? A: So they have something to do in the afternoon.
Mahathir was so disappointed with his cabinet for being inefficient and corrupt that he decided to call on Goh Chok Tong and ask him how he managed to have such an efficient and incorruptible cabinet. On hearing Mahathir's woes, PM Goh said,' Simple, Mahathir, I choose able men for my cabinet.' Mahathir asked,' Yes, but how do you know that they are able?' PM Goh replied,' Just ask them simple questions to test their intelligence. They don't need to be too difficult. Let me illustrate to you.' Just then, Tony Tan was walking by, PM Goh called out to him,' Hey Tony, come over here.' Tony obediently walked briskly over. PM Goh asked,' Tell me, Tony, who is your father's son? ' Tony Tan immediately replied,' Me! Of course.' PM Goh turned to Mahathir and said,' See, all my ministers can answer this question. Why don't you go back and try.' Mahathir thank PM Goh and left. Once he was back, he immediately summoned Anwar, his deputy, and shot the question at him,' Tell me, Anwar, who is your more...
A man was driving down the street when he got pulled over for speeding..here's how the conversation went:
Police officer: May I see your license?
Man: I dont have one I got it taken away when i had my 5th DUI...
Police officer: May I see your registration?
Man: Dont have it...' Cars stolen...
Police officer: STOLEN!?
Man: yeah, come to think of it, i think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there..
Police officer: There's a gun?
Man: that's where I put it after i shot the man in the trunk.
The police officer was disgusted, and called for back up... When the Deputy got there..this is what happened
Deputy: Can I see your license?
Man: Sure
(the license was valid)
Deputy: Registration?
Man: Right here..
(the car was his)
Deputy: Can you please open your glove box?
Man: Sure
(There was nothing in there)
Deputy: and your trunk..
(there was nothing in the trunk)
Deputy: more...
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That`s not what I meant, but he`s right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter `T`?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don`t know."
"Well, why don`t you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant.
"It went great! First more...
Three women escaped from prison. One was a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage.
About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff told his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw and the deputy yelled back, "Just three gunnysacks."
The sheriff told him to find out what was in them, so the deputy kicked the first sack, which had the redhead in it. She went, "Bow-wow", so the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in it.
Then he kicked the sack with the brunette in it. She went, "Meow", so the deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in it.
Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it, and there was no sound at more...