Diesel Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sven and Ole worked together and were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Sven looked the lady in the eye and said "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties."

The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Then Ole goes in and sits down with the lady. She asked Ole his occupation.

"Diesel fitter", he replied. Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave the Ole $600 a week. When Sven found out he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his friend and co-worker, Ole, was collecting double his unemployment pay.

The clerk explained: "When I looked it up, panty-stitchers were unskilled laborers and diesel fitters were skilled laborers."

Skill!..."What skill?" yelled Sven.

"I sew the elastic on...

He pulls on it and more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Diesel!
Diesel who?
Diesel be your bag on the step I suppose! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Diesel!
Diesel who?
Diesel teach me to go knocking around on doors!

Sven and Ole worked together and were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Sven looked the lady in the eye and said "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties." The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay. Then Ole goes in and sits down with the lady. She asked Ole his occupation. "Diesel fitter", he replied. Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave the Ole $600 a week. When Sven found out he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his friend and co-worker, Ole, was collecting double his unemployment pay. The clerk explained: "When I looked it up, panty-stitchers were unskilled laborers and diesel fitters were skilled laborers." Skill!..."What skill?" yelled Sven." I sew the elastic on... He pulls on it and says,....." Yep, diesel fitter".

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Diesel!
Diesel who?
Diesel teach me to go knocking around on doors!

Sven and Ole worked together and were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office.
When asked his occupation, Sven looked the lady in the eye and said "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties."
The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Then Ole goes in and sits down with the lady.
She asked Ole his occupation. "Diesel fitter", he replied.
Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave the Ole $600 a week.
When Sven found out he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his friend and co-worker, Ole, was collecting double his unemployment pay.
The clerk explained: "When I looked it up, panty-stitchers were unskilled laborers and diesel fitters were skilled laborers."
Skill!..."What skill?" yelled Sven.
"I sew the elastic on...
He pulls on it and says,... "Yep, diesel fitter".

Sven and Ole worked together and were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office.When asked his occupation, Sven looked the lady in the eye and said "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties."The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.Then Ole goes in and sits down with the lady.She asked Ole his occupation. "Diesel fitter", he replied.Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave the Ole $600 a week.When Sven found out he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his friend and co-worker, Ole, was collecting double his unemployment pay.The clerk explained: "When I looked it up, panty-stitchers were unskilled laborers and diesel fitters were skilled laborers."Skill!..."What skill?" yelled Sven."I sew the elastic on...He pulls on it and says,... "Yep, diesel fitter".

Two men walk into their local unemployment office after both being laid-off. The first man approaches the counter and is greeted by a friendly staff member.
"I'd like to collect unemployment payments please" he says."Not a problem sir," the teller asks "What was your last profession?""I made panty hose" he responds."Ok, the staffer says, "your check will be $300. Next!"The first man steps away from the counter eyeing his check. His friend steps up, "I'd like to collect unemployment payments please""Alright sir," the teller asks " and what was your last profession?""Diesel Fitter" he remarks."Right, that's a specialty occupation, your check will be $800"The first man overhears this and jumps in, "Hey! How come I get 300 stinkin' bucks and he gets 800"The teller say professionally "Sir, this man had a special skill""Special Skill my ass! I sew the two more...