Door Jokes / Recent Jokes

The angry wife met her husband at the door. His breath stunk ofalcohol and his face was plastered with lipstick. "I assume," shebarked, "there is a very good reason for you to come drifting inat six o'clock in the morning?""There is!" he replied, "Breakfast."

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!"

He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and more...

Three lawyers and three MBA's are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the MBA's each buy tickets and watch as the three lawyers buy only a single ticket
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an MBA.
"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the lawyers.
They all board the train. The MBA's take their respective seats but all three lawyers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The MBA's discussed this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the MBA's decide to copy the lawyers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their more...

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple' s house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.' What are you doing?' the mother-in-law asked.' I am waiting for my husband to come home from work,' the daughter-in-law replied.' Why are you naked?' asked the mother-in-law.' This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law replied.' LOVE DRESS! You are naked,' said the mother-in-law.' But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy and he makes me happy,' said the daughter-in-law.' I would appreciate your leaving now because my husband will be home any minute,' the daughter-in-law continued. Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left. On the way home, she thought about the' LOVE DRESS' and got an idea. She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home. Finally, the pickup truck drove up the drive way, and she took her more...

The Master of the house is comfortably installed in an armchair in the library, reading a newspaper.Suddenly, John, his butler rips the door open and shouts, "Sir, the Thames is flooding the streets!"The Master looks up calmly from the newspaper and says, "John, please. I have already told you before, if you do have something important to tell me, first knock on the door, then enter and inform me, in a quiet and civilised manner, about the issue. Now please, do so."John apologises and closes the door behind him. Three seconds later, the Master hears a knock on the door."Yes?"John partially enters the room and with a gesture one would make when welcoming and ushering in somebody and water flowing over his shoes, he announced, "Sir, the Thames."

A priest was in the confessional booth with a fairly long line of people waiting for their confession. The priest had to go to the bathroom something awful and couldn't hold it for another minute. Not wanting to upset all of the people in line, he frantically looked out the back door for another priest to help him out but there wasn't a priest to be found.Suddently the janitor pushed his broom past the back of the booth and the priest grabbed him and said, "You just gotta help me out. I have to go to the bathroom and the line is so long."It's very simple", said the Priest. "There on the wall is a chart... column A lists the sins and column B lists the penance. Just find the sin on the chart and tell them what their penance is."The janitor agreed that it sounded pretty simple and wanted to help the holy Father so he agreed to fill in for the priest in the booth while the priest hurried away to the bathroom.The very next person in line entered the booth and more...

A new medical facility with several different specialists opened in a trendy part of the city.
Wanting to be different and creative, the administration decided that each doctor's office door would, in some way, be representative of his practice.
So, when construction was complete, the eye doctor's door had a peep hole, the orthopedist's door had a broken hinge, the psychiatrist's door was painted all kinds of crazy colours and the proctologist's door was left open - just a crack.