Doris Jokes / Recent Jokes
(Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her well-meaning husband.)
Monday A. M.
Dearest: Sleep late. Everything under control. Lunches packed. Kids off to school. Menu for dinner planned.
Your lunch is on a tray in refrigerator: fruit cup, finger-sandwiches. Thermos of hot tea by bedside. See you around six.
Tuesday A. M.
Honey: Sorry about the egg rack in the refrigerator. Hope you got back to sleep. Did the kids tell you about the
Coke I put in the Thermoses? The school might call you on this. Dinner may be a little late. I'm doing your
door-to-door canvas for liver research. Your lunch is in refrigerator. Hope you like leftover chili.
Wednesday A. M.
Dear Doris: Why in the name of all that is sane would you put soap powder in the flour canister! If you have time, could you please come up with a likely spot for more...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Doris
Doris who?
Door is shut thats why i knocked!
The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues. In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg's physician comes into his room and says, "Sol, I'm happy to tell you that you are completely well. You have the heart function that you did when you were a fifteen-year-old lad. We're going to send you home tomorrow. You don't have to worry about your heart; do any physical exercise that you like." Mr. Steinberg goes home and that evening is talking with his wife: "Doris, you'll never believe it: I'm completely well. I have no worries with my heart. Tonight, Darling, you and I are going to make love like you've never had before, wild, passionate sex....you'll love it!"Doris thinks for a minute and says, "I don't know, Sol. I've heard about active sex and heart conditions. I don't want it to be on my head if you more...
The medics rushed Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues.
After a couple of days, Mr. Steinberg's physician comes into his room and says,' Sol, I'm happy to tell you that you are completely well. You have the heart function that you did when you were a fifteen-year-old lad. We're going to send you home tomorrow. You don't have to worry about your heart; do any physical exercise that you like.'
Mr. Steinberg goes home and that evening is talking with his wife.' Doris, you'll never believe it! I'm completely well. I have no worries with my heart. Tonight, Darling, you and I are going to make love like you've never had before - wild, passionate sex! You'll love it!'
Doris thinks for a minute and says,' I don't know, Sol. I've heard about active sex and heart conditions. I don't want it to be on more...
The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues.
In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg's physician comes into his room and says,
"Sol, I'm happy to tell you that you are completely well. You have the heart function that you did when you were a fifteen-year-old lad. We're going to send you home tomorrow. You don't have to worry about your heart; do any physical exercise that you like."
Mr. Steinberg goes home and that evening is talking with his wife:
"Doris, you'll never believe it: I'm completely well. I have no worries with my heart. Tonight, Darling, you and I are going to make love like you've never had before, wild, passionate sex... you'll love it!"
Doris thinks for a minute and says,
"I don't know, Sol. I've heard about active sex and heart conditions. I don't want more...
The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues.
In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg's physician comes into his room and says, "So, I'm happy to tell you that you are completely well. You have the heart function that you did when you were a fifteen-year-old lad. We're going to send you home tomorrow. You don't have to worry about your heart; do any physical exercise that you like."
Mr. Steinberg goes home and that evening is talking with his wife: "Doris, you'll never believe it: I'm completely well. I have no worries with my heart. Tonight, Darling, you and I are going to make love like you've never had before, wild, passionate sex.... you'll love it!"
Doris thinks for a minute and says, "I don't know, So. I've heard about active sex and heart conditions. I don't want it to be on more...