Drifter Jokes

Looking for a cool one after a long, dusty ride, the drifter strode into a saloon. He sidled up to the bar, ordered shot and a beer, and settled back to enjoy his refreshment. Suddenly, a man galloped into the bar, shouting, "Run for your lives! Big Mike's comin'! The drifter watched as most of the locals bolted for the door. Suddenly, the bar doors burst open. An enormous man, standing eight feet tall and weighing at least 400 pounds, rode in on a bull. Grabbing the drifter by the ankle, he tossed him over the bar and thundered, "Gimme a drink!" The terrified fellow handed over a bottle of whiskey, which the man guzzled in a single gulp and then shattered on the bar. The drifter stood aghast as the man stuffed the broken bottle in his mouth, munched the broken glass and smacked his lips with relish. "Can I, ah, get you another, sir?" the drifter stammered. "Naw, I gotta git," the man grunted. "Big Mike's comin'."

There was a farmer working on his fence when a drifter stopped to chat.
The drifter told the farmer that he was awfully thirsty and asked if he could have a bucket to go get some milk from the milkweed in his field.
The farmer chuckled, and said,
"Hell boy, if you think you can get milk from milkweed, I'll give you two buckets!"
Shaking his head and laughing the farmer watched him walk down through the field.
He yelled for his wife to come outside. " Honey, there is a dumbass out yonder thinkin' he's gonna get milk from milkweed!"
The farmer's wife giggled,"There's nothing wrong with having an imagination."
The farmer started working on his fence again. About 30 minutes later the drifter came carrying two buckets of milk.
"I sure do appreciate it, sir. Some honey sure would be good with this milk. I see that you have honeysuckle over there", said the drifter.
Puzzled, the farmer said, "Well, now I guess more...

A drifter was walking passed a farm and decided to stop. The drifter went to the door and asked the farmer if he could stay the nite. The farmer said "sure. u can sleep in the barn". so the drifter and farmer went to the barn and the farmer said "u can sleep here but u cant touch my pink gorrilla". the drifter said "ok" and the farmer went o bed. As the drifter was layin in the hay and was thinking ' man i got to see this pink gorrilla'. So he took the lantern off the table, the table off the rug, and the rug off the door and went down the dor nd looked at the gorrilla. he was like "oh man, dats pink gorrilla'. then he heard the farmer comin so he went up the stairs and put the rug on the door, the table on the rub, and the lantern on the table and ran bac to bed. Once the farm lefted the drifter thot 'man i hav to c dat gorrilla again. So he took the lantern off the table, the table off the rug, and the rug off the door and went to c the gorrilla more...