Economics Jokes / Recent Jokes
Top reasons to study Economics 1. Economists are armed and dangerous: “Watch out for our invisible hands. ” 2. Economists can supply it on demand. 3. You can talk about money without every having to make any. 4. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out. 5. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there. 6. If you rearrange the letters in “ECONOMICS”, you get “COMIC NOSE”. 7. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue. 8. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility. 9. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.
Q: Why has astrology been invented?
A: So that economy could be an accurate science.
Q: What does it take to be a good economist? A: An unshakeable grasp of the obvious! Q: What’s the difference between mathematics and economics? A: Mathematics is incomprehensible; economics just doesn’t make any sense. Q: What’s the difference between a finance major and an economics major? A: Opportunity cost
Ten things to do with a graduate Economics textbook1. Press pretty flowers. 2. Press pretty insects. 3. Use it as paper weight on your already overcluttered desk. 4. Leave out in obvious places to impress uninformed undergraduates. 5. Mail to the White House as an intimidation tactic. 6. Give it a walk-on part in a boring European existentialist play. 7. Just throw the lousy thing away. 8. Leave out for the rain and other forces of nature to reckon with. 9. Read it, and weep. 10. Get a refund from bookstore so you can buy a weekend's beer supply.
TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.
INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally
that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.
CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity
and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.
BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad.
SRI LANKAN ECONOMICS
You have a cow and a bull, you let the cow be
president and the bull be prime minister and more...
Q: What do you call a little girl in a brown dress who is running across a playground?
A: A brownian motion.
Q: Why do social workers refuse to sleep with economists?
A: They have learned its a sunk cost.
Q: Why do Economists provide estimates of inflation to the nearest tenth of a percent?
A: To prove they have a sense of humour.
Q: What does it take to be a good economist?
A: An unshakeable grasp of the obvious!
Q: What is a recent economics graduate's usual question in his first job?
A: What would you like to have with your french fries sir?
Q: What's the difference between a finance major and an economics major?
A: Opportunity Cost
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1. Just one, but it really gets screwed.
2. One to prepare the proposal, an econometrician to run the model, one each MS and PhD students to write the theses and dissertations, two more more...
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand. Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!